I do what you call “the wave” exactly as I saw my mother do since I was tiny. Watching it week after week for years slowly makes it creep into the DNA. I suspect it’s the same for many women. But now that it’s my turn, while I can’t give a reason, I can tell you what it means to me. Hadlakas neiros Shabbos is a time for tefillah. As I light each candle I have in mind different people that are close to my heart. Then I gather them all together with my hands before I cover my eyes, so I can be mispallel for all of them.
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