This is the booklet that was intended to be distributed at Citi Field. I don’t know if it will be distributed in Flatbush.
Note to moderator: the websites at the end of this piece were printed in the booklet, so please allow the entire post through; thanks.
Family Security And Issues Of Lifnei Iveir
Rabbi Yosef Viener
Question:
I have internet in my home and office, and a friendof mine claims that if I do not filter or monitor the content, I could be violating the issur of lifnei iveir lo sitei michshol. He argues that my allowing unrestricted internet use by my family and employees will no doubt cause them spiritual harm, and the responsibility for the damage will be partially my fault. This concept is new to me. Is it indeed necessary for me to install the proper filtering software, or is it merely a suggestion for those who want to be machmir?
Answer:
We are going to discuss an issue that might seem like an old topic, because there have been many gatherings to address the issue. Much to my surprise and chagrin, however, the message does not seem to have hit home. The security we will discuss is that of the sanctity of the family, which is currently suffering from the most insidious and dangerous attack ever leveled against it: the internet.
Yet, people are either oblivious to the danger or are deliberately choosing not to focus on it.
The rest of the advice in this essay is addressed to those who must have internet access.
No One is Immune to Harmful Influence
Before we move onto the practical realm of how to deal with the internet, it is important to address those people who feel that their families are impervious to the temptation provided by the internet.
One lesson we learn, then, is that no one can claim that he is impervious to the temptation of the internet. We must all seek ways to protect and distance ourselves from this threat to our spiritual security.
But there is another important lesson that we can learn from the story of Yitzchak and Yishmael. All of the forms of security we are about to discuss will help only for our own homes. The safeguards we put into place will not help if we do not know where our children are at all times, with whom they are associating, and what those children are exposed to and able to access.
So while we will discuss what can be done to protect our own homes, it is equally vital that you know where your children are going each time they leave the house. It sounds wearisome, but a momentary lapse in your vigilance can introduce them to a yetzer hara that is extremely difficult to fight.
The Case of Shloimy
fateful weekend, Shloimy began a descent on the slippery slope that has felled so many.
internet access.
Certainly, Hashem gave us a gift called teshuvah, and just as a computer has a delete button, Hashem can help a person delete those images as well. However, if the proper precautions are not taken, a relapse is possible at any time. An integral part of the teshuvah process is ensuring that the proper steps are taken to help mitigate the possibility of transgression.
Issur Yichud with a Computer
[the mitzvah to refrain] [such sins]. One should refrain from yichud, because it is the greatest cause [for sins of this nature]
This boy explained that when he started failing in this area, he sank into a deep depression, certain that he was depraved and that no one else was struggling with this desire. Once I explained that it was normal, he felt that he could deal with it.
Filtering and Accountability
Let me outline the system that I feel must be in place on every computer that has internet access, whether at home or in the office. Again, the best solution is still to have no internet access in the first place, but in cases where that is not an option, we need to have a two-tiered security system comprised of filtering software and reporting software.
Some programs do both filtering and reporting, and some do only one of the two; you can install more than one program on your system to provide comprehensive coverage.
Let me explain the purpose and operating method of each of the two types of software.
Filtering Software
In addition, a determined child (or adult) can figure out a way to work around a filter so that he (or she) can get to the inappropriate material, or he can stumble on the password for the filter and disable it.
It is therefore imperative that you add the second layer of protection: a reporting system.
Reporting Software
Employing this two-tiered system is the only way to have internet access without presenting a clear and present danger to the sanctity of our homes. Many people who have suffered from an internet addiction have been cured after installing such software and being forced to face a rav or Rebbi who actually took the time to read the reports and contact their mispallel or talmid and discuss it, thu successfully weaning him off of the addiction.
I cannot overemphasize the need for the reporting software. Filtering is simply not enough. The people who invent these reporting programs consider it so vital that when you set up the options for the frequency at which the reports will be generated, you will notice that one of the options is to have a report sent every hour. If the team that created this software realized how dangerous the internet is, how much more so should we.
A Word on Passwords
Toward Greater Productivity: Internet at Home
Toward Greater Productivity: Internet in the Workplace
Similarly, if you are an employee in a firm and you sit alone in an office with a computer that is not filtered, make sure to get the computer technician in your office to place a filtering and reporting system on your computer. If it is impossible to make such changes in your office, perhaps it is time to reevaluate your working there. Remember, turning the Shechinah away from you will only hurt your parnassah prospects.
A Note to Women
Chazal teach that women lead the way when it comes to maintaining the sanctity of the home. In Parashas Bo, Pharaoh offers to allow the men to go serve Hashem in the wilderness, as long as the women and children would remain in Mitzrayim. In Divrei Aggadah, Harav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv explains that Pharaoh realized that if the men were allowed to serve Hashem on their own, they would not last long. They could only succeed if the women were backing and supporting them in their efforts.
Please do not assume that you are not in danger as well. Although women are generally not as susceptible to the yetzer haras that plague men, the enticing nature of the web can (and unfortunately does) ensnare both genders.
A small sampling of the many filter and reporting programs available:
For a rundown on these and other filter programs, see internet-filter-review at www. toptenreviews.com. Also, see the Re-Solutions section of this publication.