Keeping Shabbos is hard enough, perhaps we should allow melacha right up to shkiya (instead of 18 minutes beforehand) and again the earliest zman you can conjure up for motzei Shabbos?
If there’s a correclation between chumras and otd, it is that pushing kulas causes folks to go otd.
It is everyone’s requirement to worry about their neighbor’s spirituality. It’s all of our business. What one person does affects everyone else.