yes, love and and the relationship shebo are integral factors in this being possible, but they are heichee timtzas, not the endgame.
1: The relationship between a husband and wife is supposed to mirror that between us and the Ribbono shel Olam. One is supposed to have a relationship with their spouse (and that is the Tachlis, even without the ability to have children), not a cold cheshbon of “make babies and teach them charaidism”. I feel sorry for your spouse if you think that is the case.
and in case your answer is “well, i dont feel funny when i call a random girl by her first name”, these guys do/will.
2: That is precisely the problem. The sexualization of the name of someone who you are dating (as opposed to someone who is off limits, like someone else’s wife) is a simin of the hyper-sexualization in our (Yeshivish) society. Chazal did not treat women as sexual objects the way we do, and therefore did not have any issues when “the girls went out and danced in front of the boys” on the 15th of Av & Yom Kippur. It is bad enough that society around us is hyper-sexualized, do we have to bring it in to our society as well? If we treat things as normal, then they don’t become a reason for sinning.