Reply To: Want to move from out of town community to New York…

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#936454
daniela
Participant

NYC is expensive, and is also not necessarily the most welcoming place (that is a huge understatement). I do see your point, you need a shidduch, you are out of the ordinary, you need a large community to find one.

On the other hand, it is very hard to imagine how you would get by comfortably. And you’ve had more than enough stress lately.

You are 19 if I recall well? I was not supporting myself at 19, although I was not a dead weight either. The $400 per month is what your family is willing to contribute, or would you have to earn those? As well as earning more money for food and other basic expenses?

Also, I have to say, if you are thirsty and feel like having a beer – it’s a mitzva to destroy chometz – this is forbidden. On the other hand, if you sign something, or if you make the tiniest mistake of all sort, driving accident etc. the law will hit you with full force, and if you can’t afford good legal defense, the law will hit you even harder – this has happened to *victims* of a scam, to people unaware of some law, all sort of innocent people who find themselves in a nightmare. It is not easy to be an adult like that, in a city like NY, alone.

Do you have any relative in the area? Can your rabbi suggest someone or something? Also, can the rabbi address the problem of your “debt” and negotiate with those people? I think he should be negotiating some money for you to get a fresh start, too. And I think this should be a priority and you should mention it every time you call.

Did you consider NJ at least temporarily? There, homes are actually big enough for people to wish for a cleaning person. I think you might also consider offering help right now, before Pesach, and get some extra money – not everyone gets caught in last-minute cleaning but some do, and are very happy to find help and pay for it. Try to give references, offer to show your passport to be copied and the like, because there are many dishonest “cleaners” who clean up the house instead of the dirt.

Be Hatzlacha