Reply To: Ahava=hav But why?

DaasYochid -“Because you’ve given over part of yourself to that person, you love that person, who is part you. It’s really an acceptable form of self-love.”

Since posting the question I was told to look into the Michtav Mei’eliyau and he says exactly what you said-you put it down very well.

golfer-“Acting in a giving, loving manner towards another person, will therefore make us feel inside the love we are acting out.”

That makes a lot of sense, since this is a basic concept in hashkafa-now that you mention it, I am surprised that the Michtav Mei’Eliyahu does not state this reason. He does point out that a person does not give because he loves-rather, he loves because he gives-but not for your reason-he mentions what DaasYochid said.

I’m thinking of another possibility. Part of a feeling of love is an overwhelming desire to protect and care for the person you love. If you feel that person is vulnerable, you feel more important and needed in their life, and therefore a part of their life. If however, that person is self sufficient, you don’t feel needed, and therefore do not feel part of their life. When you give to some one you are filling their need. You therefore are, and want to continue to be an integral part of their life. I haven’t really thought this through yet, but I think there is something to it.