To assume that R’ Aharon Leib meant all of this is absurd; he was referring to the educational system within the chareidi world, the values of whose families are much more closely aligned than that.
I’m glad that you have come around and seen the truth.
When a Gadol Paskens (unless it is a S”HUT Sefer where he brings the reasoning), it is only meant for the specific individual that asks. Just becuse Rav Shteinman said something in one specific case for one specific school (and probably one specific child) doesn’t mean it can be applied anywhere else.
The same is true for all questions asked to “Gedolim”.