I still feel that if a person is focused properly on what dating is actually for then it doesn’t need to drag on. I gave the number 10 because the first couple of dates are to see if the couple get along and if they can enjoy each other’s company, then you learn a little more about them and get to see them in other settings (rather than just sitting down for a drink). One or two of the dates should have some tachlis talk so you can see if you are both wanting the same things in life, heading in the same direction yiddishkeit-wise etc. Within a short time it is possible to tell if the person has what you are looking for in a spouse – as long as you know with a clear mind what is important for you in a life partner, and like I said, this requires proper focus. I used the book Dating Secrets to help me prioritise my list (it helps you make a short list of what you are really looking for), and it says that if you can check five out of ten things with the person you are going out with, it’s a good shidduch for you. FYI, I managed to check off all ten. If you can focus on that, why do you need longer?
And also, why would you want to be in a social setting with your potential spouse and his/your friends? So much potential for disaster, especially if many of them are still single…