Sam2: And I said back to him, “Do you think you’re learning will cause the Torah to be Miskayeim B’yisrael? By that logic, only R’ Chaim (Kanievsky) should learn. No. You have a Kiyum in learning. So does she. They might not be the same Kiyum, but why are you trying to deny someone something you can’t live without?”
Although I think your friends comment about getting him a coffee was disrespectful, I think it does provide an example of a wife helping her huband learn in fulfillment of nashin bmai zakain. Also the Nefesh Hachaim does say that limud HaTorah provides kiyum to all the olamos and I don’t think he specifies Torah of gedolim, so I’m not sure where your answer comes from. The question would be if he would also say that about women learning.
What kiyum do women get from limud haTorah?