It’s very common to have anxiety at nighttime. Follow some of the suggestions in the insomnia thread and see what happens.
If you’re really struggling with self-esteem, try counseling. There is no shame in it and I will tell you that there is literally not a single person in this world who would not be helped by it. Many people stay away because of the stigma, which is so unfortunate. Your local Jewish Family Services can refer you to someone and you can also check Nefesh, the database of frum therapists, for someone in your area.