i agree with Popa. my cousin went through a terrible divorce several years ago…basically she wouldn’t speak to anyone, contact anyone, just up and disappeared after 3 months of marriage. she had the baby and didn’t contact anyone. turned out at the end she was having an super-emotional (prob. not physical) relationship with someone in a “madrich” position (she was a BT).
long story short, my cousin was advised my beis din (when she wouldn’t show) to continue with legal divorce without her presence and wait on the get till visitation (he had never seen his daughter-she wouldn’t let) and stuff were settled.
not saying its “ok” but…ppl tend to forget that men can also be abused and mistreated! and with daas torah, yes it can sometimes be used as leverage.