“So when s/o starts becoming like this at 40 -where were they all these years? Late bloomers – huh?”
There is no such thing as “becoming like this” at age 40. Most gay people will tell you that they always “knew” they were gay from the age of five, or twelve, or fifteen or whatever, but that they tried to suppress it. And let’s face it, who wouldn’t try to suppress it? Who would want to have a homosexual attraction? Those who “come out of the closet” at age 40 have been hiding in it for decades.