“There are people with an orientation that they cannot control, and we must give them the full sympathy and support that they deserve. That sometimes means being nice to people who are real Ba’alei Aveirah”
If you have feelings and try to deal with them privately that is one thing. But to engage in the act itself or be public about it is another thing altogether. If you fall deeply in love with a married woman, no one would say it is ok to have an affair with her. If all the women you know are married, no one would say it would be ok to have an affair with any of them because otherwise you would be stuck alone without another outlet.