topknot yeshivish
Oomis, I don’t know you and what you went through, but “spar[ing] them from pain” is only a valid rationale if all things considered they wouldn’t want to know. Most times I have heard people use that excuse it is to spare their own discomfort.
Bottom line: the fact that you are pregnant is good news. Withholding good news is selfish without a good reason. Most reasons I’ve heard both here and generally are not good reasons. Share it happily (to those that’d be made happy)! And if c”v there’s a miscarriage, you’ll have support. There’s nothing wrong with that!”
I think you may have misunderstood my post, or I, yours. This happened over thirty years ago. And it ironically caused GREAT pain to my dear in-laws (and to my parents) that they would not have had to experience, had I even waited one more minute to tell them the good news, because by then I would have already recognized the signs of a potential miscarriage, and I would have held off saying anything at the time. Nothing selfish about that.
Good news IS meant to be shared, but some types of good news need to percolate for a while, to be sure no one is jumping the gun.
(Just as an aside, when you write topknot Yeshivish, is that meant to be a pun on the expression “topNOTCH” Yeshivish?)
Thank you, The-art-of-moi. It happened a long time ago, and had it not, I wouldn’t have had my eldest daughter, who was born early the next year. Hashem Makes His Cheshbonos. I am content.