again you make good points and you are posting youre questions in the wrong places, there are many people who yopu can ask any question you like to, take 2 hours or 3 and sit down with___________ and ask trust me they have had harder scrutiny then youre questions and i dont mean that in a bad way but rabbi jonathen sacks had a debate on live TV with the worlds biggest atheist, rabbbi gottlieb has and still does argue with many philosophers in front of crowds as well as lawrence keleman, r. akiva tatz, r. jonathen riette, r.orlofsky, rabbi mechanic, r. noah wienberg a”h and many more NOBODY ON THIS SITE WILL HELP YOU you must be honest with yourself first and that takes people years so either do it or dont do it but dont be a wuss and continusly post youre personal conflicts to people you will never have to face and ppl whom you have no idea who they are ask someone who opens the floor to the entire graduating yale philosophy class for 2 hours to ask whatever they want on judaisim! what youre doing is cowardice and about as untruthfull to yourslef as you can get
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