According to the Chinuch there are both a Mitzvas Aseh and a Mitzvas Lo Sa’seh to listen to our Chachamim and not to transgress their directives (Mitzva 495 & Mitzva 496). This applies to all of us in all generations, men and women. I’m not clear on the idea of someone having Emunah in HKBH and feeling at the same time that he is exempt from observing certain Mitzvos that seem distasteful or illogical to him.
Ultimateski sounds like perhaps she is in fact a Bais Yakov maydel. And maybe this is the idea that had her come away a bit scared, as she put it. I know it leaves me a bit uncomfortable.