you missed my point it was that… its not spying and not that your husband is doing anything im sure he is a great guy but that a man who does fall prey to something like this is likely to not tell his spouse until its either out of control or she finds out by herself and this is for a few reasons
1)he doesnt wanna hurt her
2)he feels he will be able to get out of it before anyone is the wiser
and spying… no definitly not, there should be a mutual understanding that this has the yecholis to get anyone and if you dont believe it read some stories on gye nobody is above this and dont be that niave parent/spouse who says NOT MY SON/HUSBAND/
by now ypou should know better than that