Ironp, you’re young. Without knowing more about your life, I can’t be sure of this- but I suspect this is the first real challenge you’re facing, aside from a difficult final or a baby throwing up on your new sweater while you babysat. The way you deal with it will impact the way you face other trying times that may come your way. Usually, they become more formidable. So stay calm & do it right the first time-
Don’t let your friends, or the glossy ads in your local paper creating (instead of addressing) the shidduch crisis paralyze you with fear and foreboding. You say you went to BY sem. You must have some background then in a bit of Emunah & Bitachon. I know, they’re harder to implement in real life than when you’re raising your hand and declaring how wonderful they are on a random sunny day. But now is when you need them. Open up your Tehillim, call a shadchan, and behave like a mentsh.
One of those “mothers of boys” you’re so scared of is going to become your mother-in-law, so a good start would be not buying into all the hype that turns her into an evil villain. Some shadchanim are not very kind, sometimes because they’re very busy, or not extremely sensitive. There are a lot of really nice shadchanim out there though. This is one area where you might want to get some recommendations from others. And as for the competition, you’re not all competing for the same chassan. This is not that kind of game. You’re trying to find the one person with whom you can build a beautiful home.
Which brings us back to the Tehillim I already mentioned.
Check back in and let us know how it goes…