Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › Friends being a bad influence › Reply To: Friends being a bad influence
If your hafifnik friend is convinced they’re doing things 100% correctly, and if they think their be diavad lifestyle is lechatchila and there’s no chance of having a good hashpa’ah on them, then I can see why they’d make a bad friend. I recently was in a situation where I dated someone for a few months who was seemingly interested in becoming a baalat teshuva; her father was raised frum, but he went off the derech before he hot married to the girl’s very secular mother. At first, she was observant but this waned throughout the relationship and she ultimately decided that being religious wasn’t for her and that she really isn’t religious. The lesson I learned is that deep commitment to Judaism is something that must be present in all I-Thou relationships. I make friends and will ultimately want to marry someone who is as into Judaism as I am; it’s not something that you do on shabbos or when you go to shul. Judaism isn’t a religion. It’s something that either permeates your entire being and influences your entire life and all your decisions, or it doesn’t. You either have Torah or you don’t. My best friends are those who submit themselves wholeheartedly to Torah and the halakhic system and make it their entire life.