Just some food for thought, but I’m not sure there’s anything to tell. You’re serving in the IDF in Israel and therefore maintaining some connection to the Jewish people. Its not like you’ve become a xtian or a muslim. As for what you truly believe in your heart, I don’t know that that needs to be shared, any more than one needs to share every time they have a feeling of just going through the motions, or occasional doubts, as lots of people have from time to time.
Also, I’m sure there are plenty of other websites for off the derech people that might give better advice than this website, where most of the people are generally on the derech in one form or another.