On this note, I would like to say that my mother-in-law, O”H, who was not frum, was without doubt one of the kindedst most chessed-filled women I have known, except for my own mother O”H.
Her kibud av was so exemplary, we could all learn from her. As a young wife, she and my shver took in her parents to live with them and care for them until they died, nearly 20 years later. She likewise took in and took care of her mother-in-law until she died, and her sister with two children, when the sister became widowed at a young age, for a couple of years until she was on her feet again. All this was done without fanfare, and with much love. There was room for all, and if there wasn’t, they made room.
She had the most physically challenging existence for over 30 years, having had a massive stroke at age 40, which paralyzed her completely on one side and left her legally blind. The parts that were not paralyzed, were beset with severely crippling rheumatoid arthritis. Her pain was constant, she could do NOTHING for herself, not even feed herself when I met her. She suffered the tragedy of losing her first grandchild shortly before the child’s 12th birthday. But nonetheless, a sunnier, sweeter person would have been hard to find.
If anyone would ever suggest to me that she was being punished by Hashem because she was not shomer shabbos or for some other aveira, I would ask them when Hashem last Revealed Himself to them. I would also be extremely appalled.