“hats and listening to non Jewish music” superficial things?
If everyone in your community dresses one way and you decide to do something different there is a significant reason. It is well known even amongst goyim that how you dress affects you. Hence the saying “dress for success” and the like.
It is also widely accepted that music has an impact on our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, performance, moods etc.
btw- there are halachos regarding tochacha if doing so will not be effective then you probably shouldn’t be doing it. So I am not arguing with that. I am just pointing out that maybe the approach is wrong but the message is true.