I think that people are being a little rough on you, but basically have the right idea.
There are important items and unimportant. You seem to be having a lot of unimportant battles. Let them go. It’s not fun to always lose, but if you put your foot down on only the important ones, you can say that hey, all the other ones I gave in, but this one is really important to me.
My own Shalom Bayis is pretty simple, whoever feels stronger about an issue the other one usually gives in. If I want something, but my wife reeaaaaaaaly doesn’t, I will give in. Same goes the other way.