As a clinical psychologist and a couples therapist, IMHO it seems that there is a deeper issue here that needs to be resolved. Today the argument is about the cleaning lady, tomorrow it will be about something else. Sure, you can get the cleaning lady, which practically speaking makes sense. However, what I’m hearing in your posts is that you believe in some sense that she does not measure up; that she is not keeping her responsibilities. You’ve made a judgement here, you’ve concluded that she is not keeping up her side here. Please stop and think about what I’ve written. If you give it some honest thought I believe you will understand what I’m saying. You must resolve this issue immediately. Research shows that when couples lose respect for each other, it’s a siman that divorce is on it’s way. What do I mean? Each spouse should feel that the other is mamash the best person. If she doesn’t respect you or you don’t respect her, it will breed resentment, and that’s the tone that I hear in your posts as well. It is shana rishona, as others said, so it will get better with time, but you must find the things that you admire in your wife and you must find a way to come to terms with who she is.
I know that what I wrote is quite a pill to swallow, but swallow you must. Again, I am a professional in this field and I’m giving you my honest impression here. Generally I don’t respond in the CR, but I thought it my duty here.