goq: I don’t let people talk about friends that way. 🙂
I used to be in a very similar situation (though it wasn’t my family that was problematic- they were and continue to be awesome) where I had social issues in school and was quite depressed and even self-harming in upper elementary school. After a bit too much feeling sorry for myself, one friend pulled me over and told me that she didn’t like it when people talked that way about her friends and that I needed to stop it. It was a kind of a jolt- I had a friend who actually cared about my saying things like that about myself- and even though it was one semi-casual sentence, it really (if only temporarily) snapped me out of myself and helped me see all the people in my life who really cared.
I find that the saying “nichnas yayin yatza sod” can sometimes be true on the internet- you say a lot that seems private because you don’t actually see who you’re talking to. Even trolls IME sometimes release too much about themselves because they feel like nobody knows who they are- they are intoxicated by their anonymity. Never having met you in person I don’t know what you’re like, but knowing your posts, as popa and the mods and Syag and all of the other people on here who actually really like you said, we know a lot of what you’re like- the opposite of weirdo. Normal and even more than that. Not to mention one of the nicest people here, always at the front lines when it comes to defending people and preventing namecalling and abuse. The sensitivity you’ve obviously gained from your negative experiences seems to have really shaped you into someone we would, I’m sure, all love to know in real life.
Who are these people who treat you like a nebach? I’ll get my dad to write them a computer virus :). In my personal circumstances, I found that in my progression from elementary school to high school, I was able to have a new, much more emotionally healthy seviva and it did wonders for me- I have no idea what you’re life’s like, but any environment that is sapping you so much emotionally isn’t worth being in, not for a million dollars.
Hatzlacha! Whenever someone says something, picture Popa throwing deep-dish pizzas at him. Then, when he asks why you’re laughing, punch him in the face.
🙂