Mods – I know you don’t have time to edit posts, so is this better?
TAOM – just realized I never responded to your post, sorry for the delay. Ask the mods about my subtitle, not sure myself! I don’t even want one!!! So excited too that you signed up for that chessed thingie- it’ll make such a difference in your life. I sort of want to explain why I cried while listening to that speech but it is kind of hard to put it in words, I’ll try. I was going through a hard phase in high school but I always knew that I would want to get married and raise a normal family to sort of prove to my parents that their way of upbringing is not the only way to do things. So I always made sure not to do anything to myself that I felt would affect me later on as a parent. My friends, (can I even call them that??) thought I was nuts cuz once I was so low down, may as well do it all the way. B”H I was strong enough to keep to those restrictions so now if you would look at me there is no way you would think I was ever so low. What I didn’t know then was the effect everything else I did had to me, maybe not physically, but spiritually and emotionally. If I had known how much these things would affect me and how long it would take until I could gain back my spirituality I would have never done it. And now, years later, I still cry cuz of my naivety to think that I could just one day wake up and be good again.
edited