Thanks SiDi, it’s been 21 years. By the time he finished his months in yeshiva the cut offs (and grateful dead t-shirts) were history but I know I myself never would have grown an inch had I not married a BT in ‘growing mode’. As I think back I remember that I did alot by rote, I never learned alot about the musser and philosophy behind the mitzvos. I was so awed by how much he understood and the explanations he could give me for why certain things would bring you closer to Hashem. And during all that, in the back of my mind, I was still wanting to rush him into some of the outer changes that would make him look more like everyone else. Shame on me, I know. B”H I knew I was wrong and Hashem rewarded my patience with his changes, and my knowing how unimportant they really were.
Sorry for veering off course – – – you may proceed.