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In the story below, I possibly find out the identity of a coffee room poster, but I may be wrong, since it is based mainly on instinct. Also, it really doesn’t matter one way or the other whether I have the correct identity. So if you are looking for a post with exciting content and an incredible twist that changes everything, I suggest you look elsewhere.
There is a poster on this board, whom I shall refer to as Poster X. Based on things Poster X has posted, and assuming the posts are accurate, I know maybe three facts (give or take) about Poster X’s real life. Individually, these facts can be referred to as Fact 1, Fact 2, and Fact 3.
This Friday night, I was eating the seudah at the house of “Rabbi Moshe Goldstein”, a relative who lives nearby. The conversation turned to Rabbi Goldstein’s experience in a particular yeshiva. Rabbi Goldstein wanted to show me something relating to his yeshiva, so he went to get his yearbook.
It bears mentioning that I am a world class aficionado of Jewish geography. Of course, a slightly aged yearbook is a treat to anyone who ever indulges in Jewish geography, but to me it is like Swiss chocolate with a heavy sprinkling of cocaine. I leafed through the book, and began to notice many people with whom I am directly or indirectly acquainted. So I would say things to Rabbi Goldstein, like, “Chananya Winkelman – is that the same Winkelman who learned in Brisk for a few years and then went to Chicago Law School?” or “Dovid Bergmann – is that the one whose father is a butcher in Williamsburg?”
One page did not appear to contain anyone I knew, after a quick scan. As I turned to the next one, Rabbi Goldstein said, “that was ‘Gedaliah Feldman’. He is <Fact 1>.” That was a random thing to point out, because Fact 1 is not particularly common but it is also not particularly noteworthy. There are maybe 15,000 people about whom Fact 1 is true, but more like 50 people if you limit it to people of that age who are part of the same community as me, Rabbi Goldstein, and the Coffee Room. This set off a tickler in my brain.
So I asked Rabbi Goldstein, “Is Gedaliah Feldman by any chance <Fact 2>?” He replied in the affirmative. This was a little too coincidental. So I asked further, “Is Gedaliah Feldman perhaps <Fact 3> as well? Again, Rabbi Goldstein confirmed that he is.
Since I now knew three things about Gedaliah Feldman and those three attributes correspond to the three things I know about Poster X, I concluded that Gedaliah Feldman is Poster X.
However, I now must add a caveat: Immediately after Shabbos, I called my close friend “Poster Y”, who, like all posters on the Coffee Room, a 3L at Columbia Law School. I told him my conclusion regarding the identity of Poster X as Gedaliah Feldman. He reminded me that Poster X had also mentioned Fact 4 about himself, and Fact 4 directly contradicted something we know to be true of Gedaliah Feldman.
That is the end of the story. I hope that if earlier you had nothing better to do, something more productive has come up since you began reading. To summarize everything to this point, I had clearly identified Poster X as Gedaliah Feldman after seeing the name in a yeshiva yearbook and hearing some random facts about him from a former classmate. However, later information has cast some doubt on this conclusion.
*All names have been changed, except for that of the author.
So Veltz Meshugener is your real name?
Who is the author?
Veltz Mshugener…..
“all posters on the Coffee Room, a 3L at Columbia Law School.”
Really, you must miss most posts, especially those looking for a post high school seminary.
This retirement age attorney hasn’t been a 3L in about 40 years and went to a different Ivy, not Columbia.
What is a 3L?
I didn’t go to Columbia Law School, but someone in my immediate family did. Does that qualify? (even if I have no idea what a 3L is)
CTL, I think when Veltz wrote the sentence you quoted he had been hit by a wave of nostalgia for the old days of the CR.
When I stumbled in here almost accidentally, the girls chattering away were mainly on seminary threads. Besides those high school girls terror-stricken by the prospect of a year of academic pursuits, the only other females who consistently posted were a wise grandmother offering encouragement and counsel, an English academician from Haifa checking grammar and spelling (it soon became evident those were not the type of faux pas the Mods were keeping an eye out for), an accomplished balabusta who shared recipes (since she disappeared we get recipes for frozen cholent pops and the like), and yours truly.
The CR, like everything else in life, has changed. I would add the axiom we all know about things saying the same the more they change, but in our case it is untrue.
As we can see from the puzzlement of out fellow posters, CTL & LU, Veltz’s assertion is no longer accurate. Although his use of the word soporific is.
🙁
Golfer – so it used to be that everyone here had gone to Columbia Law School??!!
I still don’t know what a 3L is.
and Velt, I thought it was a fascinating series of events, I love mysteries (although the unsolvable ones are highly annoying) and I am actually mildly curious about whether or not you are correct
3L
3rd year law student
Follows
Freshman, Sophomore, Junior and Senior years of College in most cases.
Some law schools have switched to a 2 year curricula.
My children did two years plus summers, or 5 semesters and one summer
Thank you CL for answering my question.
Wow! Law school in 2 years! That must be intense! I heard Law school is intense as it is.
Ok, so I guess it was a joke, since obviously not everyone here is a third year law school student. So is the point that that is the type of conversations people used to have? How long ago was that? The type of past conversations people make references to or that I’ve seen don’t sound like that.
Everyone keeps talking about the good-old-days, but no one explains what they were about.
According to LF, no one was serious; according to this thread, everyone was a third year law school student?? I’m missing something. What did things used to be like?
Lilmod, you didn’t hear me say anything about the “good old days”.
More like “the different old days” if you read me correctly.
People can fear change, incite change, embrace change or lament change, depending on one’s temperament and the circumstances involved.
And once change has occurred, the best direction to look is forward, not back.
LuL: We had some serious people here too, some who got too much in the way. We had all sorts. The general consensus was that this site is a chat room, a kosher one, where one finds convos that suits them for CONVO SAKE. It is not a class room and was never intended to be. (I know I keep repeating that, because I, like some others keep forgetting..) There as so many other sites that offer shiurim, classes, courses in most varying topics. That is not what the CR chat is all about. And that is not what the peoplach of the CR are attracted to.
Most understand that things here are not at a direct direction, instruction, order, command. Rather just at conversation level, for the many reasons I’ve offered so many times (I forgot them too)
No – I don’t own the place (yet). Neither does any one else of our esteemed postership. No need to turn this place into a (blah) school classroom. I DID MY YEARS!!!!
+1
“I am not talking about any “good old days”. My point is that all the people asking about which seminary to go to are 3Ls at Columbia Law School trying to present themselves the way they think bais Yaakov girls would.”
for real, or is that a joke?
for someone who claims his motto is, “??? ?? ???? ??????, ?????? ???? ??”….I’m not really seeing that here.
Does being supportive only mean being supportive of those people who you think are similar to you?
Who wants to define soporific?
Soporific is something that tends to induce drowsiness or sleep.
It could be a sleeping pill, but a particularly boring lecture or book can do the same.
I have figured out several people on the CR based on only a few details. You have to assume that minor details are made up to disguise who the person is. Usually the major details are correct, as well as details that the person deems insignificant.
ME?!? (I’m outta here!!!)
Torah613Torah – how do you even so many of the people? Even if I could figure out who people are, I think there is almost no one here whom I could possibly know in real life.
My impression though is that there are a lot of men from New York here. So I guess if you are a man from New York, it is more likely that you know several people here.
You think so many people lie (about the minor details)?
-My hypothesis is that at least one moderator is a rebbetzin or like a rebbetzin. At least one gives amazing advice and it’s a shame that she must hold her tongue in the CR.
-Another is an aba whose children are grown.
-Another has a smicha and prefers not to be in front of a huge crowd, so he gives back by moderating.
-Another one started the job and then brought his/her friend in to work when a spot opened up.
Those are my guesses.
I admit it was I.
To wit, I did attend the Pennsylvania School of Higher Lunacy, a prestigious school in Philadelphia committed to the study of the moon. I also have Facts 1, 2, and 3. Fact 4 was that I went to Penn law, but it was untrue as I am a 3L at Columbia.
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