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  • #763522

    happiest
    Member

    Health, wow. I feel so honored that you think I’m naive. You’re the first person to ever tell me that. I take it as an honor! Thanks again:)

    As to the OP- I guess since I’m naive, take healths word for it. Don’t call the cops. It can be considered harassment.

    (This post might come out sounding sarcastic but I’m not trying to be…)

    #763523

    yoyo56
    Member

    im scared to tell my parents i dont know what they will do they most prob wont let me out of the house how should i go abt telling them

    #763524

    amichai
    Participant

    can you really try not going to that shop? even if it’s not very convenient to go further for your shopping.

    #763525

    TikkunHatzot
    Member

    Maybe you can try telling your parents BOTH concerns: the concern about being followed & the concern that you might not be allowed out of the house anymore. To me, assuming that someone IS following you, I would say that both of these concerns are very real concerns….but I don’t know your family & how they would react. Hopefully, they are very considerate & thoughtful & will think of the perfect solution.

    #763526

    Health
    Participant

    yoyo -“im scared to tell my parents i dont know what they will do they most prob wont let me out of the house how should i go abt telling them”

    I don’t know why you would think your parents will disallow you to leave your house. This could be considered abuse. Have they ever abused you before? Perhaps, you do suffer from paranoia.

    I think you should tell your parents. If on the millionth chance they forbid you from leaving your house, let the CR know and people here will guide you who to contact to deal with this.

    #763527

    mw13
    Participant
    #763528

    shev143
    Member

    It’s probably your own shadow. Are you a plus size?

    #763529

    yoyo56
    Member

    they would allow me to leave but they will be very nervous

    #763530

    mewho
    Participant

    i have been reading this thread and read the other one posted by yoyo and find some of what is written very hard to accept.

    yoyo, instead of posting here every few hours and getting nowhere dealing with your problem, march yourself into your living room or kitchen or wherever your parents might be and discuss all of this with them. they know you best. not us coffee room folks. they care about you and would want to help you in whatever way is needed.

    if in fact there is any danger to you it should be addressed asap. if you are having other issues that are manifesting themselves in this then you need those addressed as well.

    get off the computer and go speak to them face to face and deal with this . you will probably feel better after doing so. best of luck.

    #763531

    aries2756
    Participant

    Yoyo, you might be blowing this out of proportion. Your parents would not be as nervous as you are because some other young woman is following you. At best they will advise you to confront her, at worst one of them will go with you and confront her.

    As far as feeling this has to do with the managers in the store, at best they will tell you not to go there anymore, at worst they will go to the store and speak to them. Your whole nightmare will be over and you won’t have to suffer anymore.

    There is no reason for you to have so much anxiety because of this one store and these guys who are overly friendly. If you can’t handle the situation on your own, you have to learn how to ask for help, and your parents are the best people to help you.

    YoYo, you are going to find that many times in your life there are going to be situations in which, although you are an adult, you will still need help. You will have to learn that it is not a sign of weakness or immaturity to ask for help when needed. It is a sign of courage and understanding that one cannot always handle life’s burdens or life’s issues on their own, and that Hashem sends shelichim if you ask for them.

    If you are smart enough to come here and ask us for advice and we keep telling you to go to your parents for help, then why are you NOT smart enough to take the advice we give you??

    #763532

    HIE
    Participant

    you r being wayyy too of a scaredy cat DONT WORRY unless you see yourself being explicitly spoken about or pointed at

    #763533

    yoyo56
    Member

    i told my parents they are like chill out

    #763534

    TikkunHatzot
    Member

    Yoyo, I’m really proud of you for telling them. I think that was a big step.

    At least you got that out of the way, but do you feel any better about the rest of the situation?

    #763535

    HIE
    Participant

    LOLOL

    #763536

    mewho
    Participant

    if anyone still believes this , i have a bridge to sell you.

    lol

    #763537

    if anyone still believes this , i have a bridge to sell you.

    True about both threads

    #763538

    aries2756
    Participant

    So YoYo do you feel any better now that you told your parents? They are NOT nervous, they did not restrict your movements. They probably think the girl is foolish.

    #763539

    ZeesKite
    Participant

    ..I have a bridge to sell you..

    and if anyone believes I am a ZeesKite…

    #763540

    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    It sounds like they are immature people, playing a game with you. If the guys there are giving you such treatment, you should keep away from such a place. If you can’t, ignore them and ignore this.

    #763541

    mewho
    Participant

    sounds to me more like yoyo is playing a game here. after reading what she claims her parents response was that closed the deal for me.

    for a child to be so totally freaked out for days and weeks and then she speaks to her parents and their response is ”like chill out”

    cmon, give me a break.

    its ok….i am taking a break form cooking…anyone want to tell any other bube meises?

    #763542

    yoyo56
    Member

    i really dont care if u dont believe me!

    the reason my parents said that because we were leaving for the holidays and had other things on their mind and didnt hear all the background i just told them they are following me

    and i dont think im gonna comment anymore here bec are not supportrive at alll

    GOOD BYE COFFEEROOM!!!!!!!!!!!

    #763543

    aries2756
    Participant

    And you are concerned about inappropriate topics????

    #763544

    aries,

    what do u mean?

    #763546

    TikkunHatzot
    Member

    In defense of YoYo, I suffer from certain psychological symptoms & there is nothing that she said, thought or did on here that I haven’t said, thought or did in a therapy session.

    Not everyone is “normal”. G-d created some of us different & even some of us he caused to be different through circumstances beyond our control.

    However, YoYo, you need to find some support that is local, since there seems to be much harshness online. Or better yet, find someone local that needs your help & then help them; doing that is a great way to make you forget about your own issues.

    #763547

    mewho
    Participant

    tikkun, i am far from harsh. i suggested numerous times in this post and in yo yo’s other post to contact an agency and get some help.

    that would be the best possible advice to follow.

    posting in here is not helping any .

    #763548

    hanib
    Participant

    she’s a teenager and she’s acting like one – aren’t you all being a bit extreme with her – seems to me like she’s acting like a cute, bubbly, silly teen and you guys are acting like adults to her and taking her every statement so seriously. teens exaggerate – i have no reason to believe that she is not telling the truth as she sees it nor that she is paranoid and/or crazy. Nor, am i so worried about her – unless she flirts with those managers. She’s a teen with a lot of energy and imagination and fun.

    #763549

    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    mewho, after her parents basically just shook off their daughter’s concerns and invalidating her as a person, I feel it was quite harsh to call the daughter’s lament “bube maises.” It was immediately after your post that the OP felt she needed to leave the CR. The post felt on the geder of ona’as dvarim. You’re correct that “posting here is not helping any” if some people answer with little warmth and support, though this did not have to be the case. Remember, she is our sister….

    It is apparent that you had wonderful parents, but it seems from here that this may not be the experience of the poster. It is quite feasible that the poster’s lack of self-confidence and esteem, quite obvious from all the “What do I say” questions, stem from the parents’ inability to meet her emotional needs. I would venture to guess that this would not be the first time that the daughter’s concerns were brushed aside and not dealt with. This is supported by the fact the daughter felt unable to go to the parents for quite awhile and in fact, was concerned regarding her parents’ reaction to her experience.

    If so, then this is part of emotional abuse. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon in our circles. Feel free to consult with professionals in this area to confirm.

    It is also not uncommon in our circles for people who B”H have not grown up with abuse to disbelieve others’ experiences with it and the fact that it actually occurs.

    To the poster, try to find a mentor whom you trust and to whom you feel comfortable speaking. This is sooooo important.

    #763550

    aries2756
    Participant

    When a young person comes here to vent there worries or concerns and people do not think twice of whom they are making fun of? They don’t feel for the needs of a child? They don’t understand the sensitivity needed to speak to a child no matter what the age? Just because s/he is old enough to post here does not absolve you from your obligation to be kind, gentle, caring, sensitive and understanding to a young person.

    Many of you blast others for speaking about certain topics saying there are children that come here too, but then others have the nerve to write off a child as if they were older and wiser and can take a hit like their buddies and pals. SHAME ON YOU for chasing away a child who does not feel she has someone to turn to and confide in. SHAME ON YOU!!! It is NOT your job to analyze her or figure out what is going on in her heart or mind. If you can’t help move to another thread. If you can help, offer valid advice. Not everyone is meant or cut out to help everyone, help those you can and leave those you can’t alone. Don’t make their lives or their situations worse. And please, don’t meddle with kids, you don’t know how much you can hurt or effect them.

    #763551

    hanib
    Participant

    um, aries… do you think they’d like being called a child?

    #763552

    aries2756
    Participant

    binahyeseira, I interchanged the words “young person” and “child” throughout my comment to make a point. From OUR perspective they are children taking babysteps into adulthood especially when they are afraid or needy. They are also young adults and deserve to be treated like a young adult. Whichever way we perceive them we still need to treat them with respect. From their perspective they are already adults.

    We need to understand that they come here looking up to us for our knowledge and experience, just as a child to a parent.

    Is that all you got from my comment?

    #763553

    hanib
    Participant

    no. of course not. i totally agree with your comment, as i usually do. i always enjoy reading your posts – usually the voice of reason and experience.

    i think you’re 100% right; thanks for explaining the “child” bit – just thought it might turn off some of the young adults around here. 😉

    #763554

    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    YOYO, come back, wherever you are!

    #763555

    hanib
    Participant

    i second the motion, yoyo.

    #763556

    MDG
    Participant

    3rd

    #763557

    8th

    #763558

    yoyo56
    Member

    I still have been reading the posts and since there are some people who asked me to come back I have ecspecially since things aren’t gettin better I need some advice from those who care

    I was away for pesach abd when I returned home my mom asked me to pick up some food from the store since we didn’t have any food while I was at the supermatket the guy was following me around the store and when I was at the cash register he said something to the lady something I didn’t hear but she replied evry guy needs a girl and thhen when I was there the other day I was on line to pay as soon as. He saw me he started to clear. Everything and make it nice and then he went and got me the advertisement for the store and put it in my cart abd gave me thumbs up

    I don’t even talk to him and he does all this why does he need my att

    #763559

    DONT GO TO THAT STORE ANYMORE!! is it that hard to keep away?

    #763560

    hanib
    Participant

    hi yoyo! glad to see you’re back.

    #763561

    MDG
    Participant

    Tell your parents about his strange and desperate behavior. If someone was following my daughter, I’d want to know and I’d be really concerned.

    #763562

    mewho
    Participant

    sad thing about this post is that if G-d forbid something happens we will all feel terrrible about it. however, if yoyo continues going to that store she is getting deeper and deeper into the problem . yoyo, follow the advice many posters have given you and STOP going to that store. TELL YOU PARENTS what goes on there.

    #763563

    amichai
    Participant

    hi yoyo. please tell your parents. this guy has a problem. if the guy sees your parents coming in2 the store and asking about this guy, he might stop . tell your parents. everything. we all back you.

    #763564

    mewho
    Participant

    have your parents speak to the manager and/or owner.

    or if the people in the store dont know who your parents are, have them come in and shadow you a couple times so they can see things that go on with their own eyes.

    #763565

    TikkunHatzot
    Member

    Yoyo, I’m glad you back on.

    I guess you’re staying true to your name “yo-yo” & you came back….ok, lame joke.

    #763566

    yoyo56
    Member

    i really want to tell my parents but how do i do it go up to them and say “this guy has a crush on me….”?!?! what should i do???

    #763567

    s2021
    Member

    Sometimes parents arent necesarily the right ppl to tell. If they dont take u seriously or it doesnt concern them enough-find someone else who understands u and can help u out- an older relative, teacher.. U need to be responsible and help urself and not wait for anyone else.

    #763568

    mewho
    Participant

    yoyo, if you feel uncomfortable when you go to that store—which you have said you do, then take a deep breath and speak to your parents. unless there are other things that you have not told us here , the normal reaction from parents would be to have their child sit down and talk about what the problem is and see what can be done. be open and honest, if they know you use the computer , you could even show them some of these posts if you feel it would help.

    do it as soon as possible.

    #763569

    adorable
    Participant

    I had some issues with a guy in one of the stores that I go to and I felt that being a very good customer of their store I have a right to tell the managers what I feel…. I went over to the manger and told him the whole story…he took care of that guy but then I became friends with him. I wish this whole thing would never have started!

    #763570

    Clairvoyant
    Member

    Are you still friends with him adorable?

    #763571

    smartcookie
    Member

    Yoyo- no, don’t say “he has a crush on me”.

    Just tell them, that this man in the store is creepy and tries to be very friendly and you’re scared! You’re parents are here to protect you.

    #763572

    aries2756
    Participant

    Firstly welcome back. Secondly, do you live in a neighborhood where this is the only kosher supermarket? If no, then don’t go back. If yes, then tell your parents in a way they can understand such “Mom, what would you do if you were a young girl and you thought an older boy was flirting with you or giving you unwarranted attention?”, “Mom, what would you do, if he was making you feel really uncomfortable?” Start asking open ended hypothetical questions of your parents and see what they say. Get their curiosity going. Then gently without getting excited, tell them there is someone making you extremely uncomfortable, and then when they start asking you who it is, then tell them.

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