Funny Shidduch Stories

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  • #589348

    Belev Echad
    Participant

    Forget the angst and negativity about shidduchim. Anyone have any funny things, incidents happen to you or someone u know on a date?

    I’ll start: this poor boy backs into the driveway on the first date….and backs into the girl’s father’s car!….and had to knock on the door and explain to the father exactly what he just did!! funnily enough, it didn’t harm the shidduch and they got marrried!

    #1226134

    teen
    Member

    this one isnt really funy but its intresting

    a guy was driving a girl back home after a date and when they stopped at a red she pulled the key out waited for the car to turn green then red again before putting it back in

    the guy could only stare in shock and after she put it back he just continued driving

    after a minute she said i pulled the key out to see how you deal with a stressful situation and if you could hold your anger in

    you passed with flying colors

    he pulled over to the side leaned over opened her door anmd said “you failed, get ouot”

    no idea if its true but i think its kind of intresting…not all that funny tho

    #1226135

    beacon
    Participant

    After spending a few pleasant hours together at a lounge on their first date, the boy announces, “I’m ready whenever you are.” Panic-stricken she replies, “I’m really sorry, no way. I just won’t be able to get engaged till chanukah.” The guy, confused says- “I meant, I’d like to know if you’re ready to go home…”

    (Lol my friend sent this to me)

    #1226136

    Curious
    Member

    Gosh I have so many but would not the boy in question to identify himself from my post 😉

    #1226137

    oomis
    Participant

    I don’t know how funny this is, I didn’t find it so funny, but my daughter went out with a guy who couldn’t be parted from his cell phone for five minutes. He took her out for a light bite (that’s perfectly nice), but then ordered for her without asking her what she might like. He took out his cell phone and preceeded to talk to anyone and everyone who called. When my daughter suggested that perhaps it was getting a little late, he realized she was not interested in him and asked her if she had a younger sister! And this guy’s mama is wondering why he is still single…

    #1226138

    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    i guess i could add this here too:

    so a regular flatbush guy, goes on a date with a boro park bais yaakov girl!!! the guy sees they have absolutely nothing in common, & just keeps driving on the date without sayin a word!!! the girl starts talkin about her learning on the phone nightly, over the phone with her chavrusa!!! she’s going on & on about learning with her chavrusah meselos yesharim!!! then she asks her date,if he ever learned meselos yesharim!!! his reply-i watched the movie!!!

    #1226139

    Omg HAZEET (nebach) !!!!!!!

    My fav story: the girl pulls the key out of the ignition and then she tells him u passed the test!! (Bc he didn’t get angry or something) and then he goes u didn’t! Now get out!! Hahaha I love that one!

    #1226140

    Phyllis
    Member

    A boy and girl were going out for a while, and the boy decided the shidduch is not for him. He decided he wanted to speak to the girl personally since they had already met so many times. He started by mentioning her positive qualities and then he said he has something very serious to discuss. To which the girl said “I cant believe i am about to get engaged.”

    P.S. he was won over and they are happily married with a couple of kids!!

    I did not hear this story firsthand, but i think its true.

    #1226141

    anonymouse1079
    Participant

    Where does being called the wrong name on first date rank?

    #1226142

    JayMatt19
    Participant

    A friend of mine drove down a flight of stairs on a dare (and it was the girl’s 1st ever date)

    How you ask? It was Yerushalayim on one of the streets which turn into a staircase at the end. This one did not have a barrier

    #1226143

    Belev Echad
    Participant

    hahahaha, these are a riot!

    i have another one:

    (i heard it happenedin lakewood), being that most of the yeshiva boys there dont own their own car, the rent-a-car does great business….so this girl gets picked up on her first date, and as they’re driving she pulls down the mirror- and there’s writing on it that says WILL U MARRY ME? from the guy who last rented that car!!!! he forgot to wipe it off, and now this girl totaly freaked and stammered “i-i-i-im not ready for that” until they cleared it all up!

    #1226144

    Phyllis
    Member

    anonymouse1079 and anonymouse1079, those are both sooo Embarrassing !!!!

    #1226145

    Mayan_Dvash
    Participant

    I guess this vaguely falls under a “shidduch story”

    I went out with close to 50 girls. There were only a few which I went out with more than once or twice. After I was engaged I was with my Kallah (wife now) at a wedding and I noticed someone familiar. So I told my Kallah, “that girl looks familiar…I might have taken a class with her in College…” I proceeded to the Chosson’s tish to say mazel tov. When I rejoined with my Kallah, she was talking to the familiar looking girl and I was introduced as her Chosson. So I greeted her politely and said “where do I know you from?..” You couldn’t stuff my foot down my throat any further, because we dated maybe a year ealier for a good number of weeks (perhaps 2 months?). Now, I thought that I was the (only) one who looked bad here. But my sister pointed out that I probably made her feel bad as well. I hope she’s well and has a nice family of her own.

    #1226146

    InShidduchim
    Member

    On one of my dates, the poor guy ran out of quarters for tolls and didn’t have easy pass… so he had to honk his horn for 10 second by EACH TOLL! and we must have gone through at least 10! it was really really embarrassing!

    and it gets better… my friend retold this story on a date… and they both laughed… until my friend’s date ALSO ran out of quarters… and the joke was on hiM!!!

    #1226147

    myshadow
    Member

    Belev Echad I heard that story that the girl refused to go out with him again.

    My dad told me this story, Guy was going to get engaged to this girl but he was lil jokish so he’s like k I have to ask you a serious question, she got all nervous like what does he want and he’s like ok………when you brush your teeth, do you squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom or the middle of the tube? She answered without missing a beat ” I don’t brush my teeth” He cracked up and proposed on the spot

    #1226148

    A couple once went on a shidduch, and who did they see on the other side of the room? The girl’s really close friend! As they were walking in, the friend happened to lift her head! So they both saw each other

    =)

    #1226149

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    a girl was taken out to Windows On the World. They had a rug at the entrance with “WOW” on it… for conversation’s sake, the boy comments and says: “I wonder what that stands for.” The girl, thinking “this guy is really dumb” tells him “yeah- it stands for ‘MOM’, they got it one mother’s day…” and the boy nodded politely and kept on walkin…

    a girl was walking with her date and suddenly her very very high heel gets stuck in the metal grate in the street. By the time she yanked it out (and by the time the boy even noticed she wasn’t at his side), it broke…. picture the scene

    A few weeks later this boy gets a call, his best friend is engaged. To who? The girl he lied to and said he was his friend…

    these were either heard from the person on the date or read in an article- enjoy

    #1226150

    Ashreinu
    Participant

    What do you do when you’re on a d8 and ya just happen to bump into a few girls you know, doing the same thing you are?

    I just smile and wave. seriously.

    Ok, in a way that the date won’t notice it.

    oh man, I hope the dude who did this wont read this…..

    what would you do if the guy forgot to turn on his headlights at nt? You notice this as you’re abt to careen into a divider on a dimly lit bridge, after almost missing an exit and almost crashing into a tree… I was prayin….

    Gosh, what to do? Do i act like his mommy and thus make him feel bad by asking if his headlights are on?

    My tactic was to ask why the streets were so dimly lit that it was impossible to read the tiny street signs! Aha! Dude eventually realizes it may be s/th he can fix!

    I firmly beleive that there are important reasons why Hashem leads us through the whole Yam Suf parsha before splitting it. There’s lots to learn abt ourselves and each d8 is a fresh opportinty. ON that note, im gonna start a new thread w a few practical things for dating…

    #1226151

    beacon
    Participant

    a girl was walking with her date and suddenly her very very high heel gets stuck in the metal grate in the street.

    This is not a joke… Lol I’m not gonna get into specifics but something similiar happened to me (only the shoe didn’t break) twas a little embarrassing 🙂

    #1226152

    Curious
    Member

    a girl was walking with her date and suddenly her very very high heel gets stuck in the metal grate in the street.

    That’s like walking with high heels on the boardwalk. It took me getting my heel stuck in between the slats each step, until I figured out how to synchronize my steps to avoid the gaps… 😉

    #1226154

    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    a family member of mine, watched as a guy throw up in my neighbors yard, then rang the door bell a few seconds later to pick up his date[my neighbor]!!!!

    #1226155

    Belev Echad
    Participant

    inshidduchim- HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    lol!!!!

    i dont know why, but when i read yours, i was CRACKING UP, picturing it!!!

    #1226156

    beacon
    Participant

    a family member of mine, watched as a guy throw up in my neighbors yard, then rang the door bell a few seconds later to pick up his date[my neighbor]!!!!

    Poor guy! I hope he had some mints..

    #1226157

    Asdfghjkl: THATS HYSTERICAL

    #1226158

    Joseph
    Participant

    Don’t tell me you run in high heels…

    #1226159

    oomis
    Participant

    I was out on a blind date with a fellow who was given my number without my knowledge or permission (or my parents’ knowledge, either). I agreed to the date a) because he didn’t know that I had not been asked if it was ok to give out my number and b) because the person who gave him my number meant well, was a family friend, and I didn’t want to embarrass her. I basically was told the guy was going to call, the day that he called me.

    He picked me up and took me out to dinner, which was very nice, but I knew after a short while I had no intentions of seeing this guy again. What really brought it home to me, was when we were getting ready to leave and he asked me to leave by the back door, because his ex-girlfriends’ parents were in the restaurant, and he didn’t want to be seen with me! Stupid and ever-accommodating me, I waited for him outside the back door (yes, he did show up), instead of reading him the riot act for treating me so disrespectfully.

    Another date was a very nice person, who had called me up, we had a very pleasant conversation, which he ended by telling me he would pick me up at 5 PM “after dinner.”

    On the appointed day, I dressed nicely, and when he picked me up, he asked me if I was milchig or fleishig. I told him I was neither. Puzzled, he asked me what I had eaten for dinner, and I told him the truth. Nothing. So he said, “But I thought I told you I was picking you up at 5PM after dinner!” And I sweetly replied, “That’s true. You did. But neither you nor anyone else can tell me when to feel hungry. I generally do not eat dinner at 4 PM!” He realized immediately how he had come across and took me out for pizza (fine by me, I am not the greedy type). During dinner, he admitted that he hadn’t wanted to take me anywhere to eat until he saw if I would be worth it. I have had some really interesting shidduch dates. B”H that is not how I met my husband.

    #1226160

    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    oomis1105: yikes abt the blind date!!!

    #1226161

    Joseph
    Participant

    oboy

    #1226162

    Ashreinu
    Participant

    Just had to post this story. You may have heard this….

    Nice girl w/ nice taste is out on a date. Well, noone touches the flusher thing in restaurant restrooms, you do the foot thing. Well, her pretty little shoe fell into the water…………..

    She gasped, then picked it up and threw it out. There was no way she’d wear THAT again. She walked back to the date w/ 1 shoe and yes, went home that way.

    They still laugh about it when they tell the story to friends and their kids…

    #1226163

    Curious
    Member

    Joseph – why oh why did I know that I would get that comment from you. You’re so predicatable.

    #1226164

    myshadow
    Member

    These stories are all funny but if any ever happened to me!!! Hello blushing city

    #1226165

    mchemtob
    Member

    just heard this one…a guy and girl went on a boat ride the wind started to drift him farther away from the dock than he’d like…do he tried to row back toward the boat rental. he’s trying, and shvitzing, and trying, and shmaltzing but he cant d=fight the wind. so he decides to let the wind push him to shore and let the bpat rental guy worry about getting his own boat back…the make it to shore. he put the oar into the ground to steady the boat and lets the girl get out first…not realizing she gets out into a pile of mud knee deep. she can’t get out and they guy doesnt know what to do to help her…he gets out of the boat steadies himself and the boat and hands her the oar. she manages to pull her leg out of the mud but her shoe is missing. she hopped back to the car muddy and shoeless. I can only imagine the lok on her/her parents face when she finally made it home… and no they did not end up together.

    #1226166

    myshadow
    Member

    mchemtob, omg!! ouch

    #1226167

    wow, keep ’em coming! These stories are hysterical! (especially since they didn’t happen to me, lol)

    #1226168

    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    mchemtob: yikes!!!

    charlie brown: ha yeah!!! hi buddy!!! long time no see!!!

    #1226169

    Mayan_Dvash
    Participant

    mchemtob, you still gotta feel bad for all those involved in that story;

    #1226170

    oomis
    Participant

    You think THOSE stories were bad, I can’t even tell you the WORST (and funniest) one.

    #1226171

    SJSinNYC
    Member

    Come on oomis, time to spill 🙂

    I never had any bad dating stories. My husband and I didn’t “date” that much, just sort of rolled into our relationship from being friends.

    #1226172

    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    oomis1105: now i’m curious!!! try to edit your good story so ya could tell it to us!!

    #1226173

    mchemtob
    Member

    i definitely feel bad but everytime the guy tells the story everyone cries from laughing so hard, it’s just one of those stories that is too crazy to be true, but it is.

    #1226174

    mchemtob,

    I think that was the funniest shidduch story I’ve ever heard. I’m surprised the guy isn’t too embarrased to repeat it. If it was me, I wouldn’t tell a soul, lol.

    #1226175

    Mayan_Dvash
    Participant

    I was once on a date and as I was switching lanes (in manhattan) I came really close to hitting a taxi cab. She started laughing hyterically.

    There is the time I arrived an hour early. I asked if I should come back later. The father sat with me for an hour. We did have some common ground to shmooze about.

    #1226176

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    Mayan- did the cackling make you crash?

    beacon- are you my sister’s friend? (Although I’m sure the business with the heel getting stuck is far from unusual)

    btw- whenever we share dating stories someone is bound to say “we can write a book”. So there- I’ve said it for you (and these are far from the funniest or craziest stories)

    #1226177

    oomis
    Participant

    “I was once on a date and as I was switching lanes (in manhattan) I came really close to hitting a taxi cab. She started laughing hyterically.”

    Might have been nervous laughter. Many people experience this when in a momentarily scary situation.

    “There is the time I arrived an hour early. I asked if I should come back later. The father sat with me for an hour. We did have some common ground to shmooze about. “

    Lesson for the future – sit in your car around the corner, but don’t arrive too early.

    #1226178

    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    i once heard about a girl, who was having contact lenes issues on a date & her date had to take her to the er!!!

    #1226179

    oomis
    Participant

    I apologize, but there is absolutely no way that I can tell this entire story without it being moderated. The irony is there is nothing wrong in the story whatsoever. I’ll try to give the highlights. It was actually something that my date said…

    What I can say is that we stood on line for over an hour waiting to get into somewhere, and he was trying to calculate (aloud and very precisely) how long it would take us to get in, based on the number of people and probable seating capacity per capita (whatever THAT meant to him). The fellow was an actuary and very numbers conscious. He also wanted to show me his math thesis, which he just happened to have with him.

    When we were almost ready to leave, we each excused ourselves for a few minutes, and I returned right away, but 10, 15, 20, 30 Minutes go by and he has not come out. There were no other people that were appropriate for me to ask to check if he was inside the “facilities,” so I ended up calling my dad, O”H to pick me up, because my date apparently had ditched me. While I was on the phone with my father, the guy emerges from the restroom, no explanations, no excuses (I just asked him if he was ok), and acted like this was typical behavior.

    He drove me home, and I did something I have never done on even my most boring dates. I did not ask him in for coffee (I always asked my dates if they wanted coffee, so they would be alert on the drive home, and most accepted graciously), and as we approached my house, I told him he could let me off at the corner, because I wanted to take a shortcut through the back yard. I don’t want to say anything bad about the guy, but he was very, very strange, and spoke in a really whiney voice.

    #1226180

    Mayan dvash: haa at least she laughed and didn’t shreak!!!! Did u marry her?!

    #1226181

    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    oomis1105: ha kinda funny one there!!!

    #1226182

    SJSinNYC
    Member

    Oomis that is very funny! Maybe the guy went home to check on his lizard? Whats wrong with some people?

    #1226183

    Mayan_Dvash
    Participant

    Well oomis,

    1) Definitely nervous laughter.

    2)I didn’t know I was an hour early until her father pointed it out. there better not be a future!!!

    syriansephardi, Didn’t marry either of them. The stories of dating my wife are for another time, perhaps.

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