Going back to work

Home Forums Family Matters Going back to work

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 15 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #609718
    MorahRach
    Member

    I am going back to work either in the next couple of week, I have been home for the past year with my baby bH, and I need advice. I am a wreck. If I could, I would stay home with him, and all my future children IYH, but this year has been incredibly stressful ( financially) and for now I don’t see staying home as a possibility.Thank Gd my husband has a good job, and bH we survived this year, it was important to him as well that I stay home, but we really do need another income in the coming year at least until my husband gets a promotion or better job. I am an absolute mess. My heart is aching. It’s aching. I don’t know how to describe what I am feeling, other than to say that I am not physically or emotionally ready. BH my sweet boy is healthy, happy, and amazing! I am not trying to complain, because Hashem has blessed me in so many ways. I just am extremely attached to him as he is to me, and I am terrified to leave him. I just want to hear from other mothers who felt the same as me. I don’t want to hear that I need to get over it and that everyone works, because no, not everyone goes back to work. A lot of women are blessed to be stay at home mothers. I was given the bracha of staying home this whole year, and I am so thankful, but now I am a wreck. Any advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

    #960491
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    My heart goes out to you. You feel exactly as I did and exactly as I would wish any mother to feel toward their child. I can’t offer you much comfort but I can tell you that your child is so fortunate to have you. When you read posts where other mothers complain that summer is hard because they are stuck having to entertain their kids, it makes me wish I had more posts like yours to read. Hatzlacha on your transition.

    #960492
    Vogue
    Member

    there are statistics that say that stay at home mothers earn less money when they go back to work than mothers who go back to work three months after giving birth,I would recommend, or at least if I had the bracha of being a stay at home mom for a year of trying to update my credentials with a small boost. I have heard it can make a big difference.

    #960493
    smartcookie
    Member

    It’s hard. BTDT. I worked with 1 child, and then 2.

    First of all, do you have a babysitter? Once you find the right one, you’ll feel a lot better. Make sure that you’re 100% comfortable with her. If you have doubts, you won’t be calm.

    You will get used to it as time goes on, but you will be so excited at the end of every day to finally see him! I used to really miss my babies when I left them over!

    Is there any way you can cut your hours so you won’t be away from him all day?

    #960495
    MorahRach
    Member

    Thank you for your replies. SY. Yes, you get me!

    As far as cutting my hours, it is actually a better paying job than the previous one I had before I gave birth, but I don’t know if i can ask for less hours. I MAY be able to work from home Fridays please Gd. That’s if I take this job i was offered. I am holding out a little longer for another job that doesn’t start until the end of August. I just am so upset. I do not have a sitter yet, I am dreading that process but maybe if i trust them i will feel a TAD better. I wish I could just stay home. I have friends who are gone from 7-7 or 8-6 and they say they could not IMAGINE being home all day with their babies. My dream would be to just be home forever with my kids. They ask me if I am bored all day..no way! We read, we play, we walk, we excersize, we TALK, we make brachas, we SING, we dance, we CUDDLE, we are just SO beautifully busy. My heart misses him already and he is asleep next to me. Oy.

    #960496
    kkls45
    Member

    MorahRach, you are a amazing mom and your kids are so lucky to have you.

    You should get pictures taken of your kids and keep them with you or on your desk at work.

    #960497
    MorahRach
    Member

    Thanks Kk! You’re very sweet ;). I wish I could find a place that head daycare so I could sneak peaks during the day. So far no such luck!

    #960498
    mercury
    Member

    morahrach, wow how different 2 people can be! i am so jealous that you love your child more then your own sanity. you seem like such an amazing person and an amazing mother. as you know I BH recently had my first baby,(since that post on baby stuff, we had a girl erev purim) anyways i totally understand you and how difficult it is to start work again. i am the exact opposite. i was looking for a job for an entire year. i wanted to work so bad. not just for money but just to get me out of the house. as a dental hygienist its really hard to find work, especially if its your first job since graduating. i was getting so depressed just being home everyday with nothing to do. my husband hasnt had any luck with work either so we were both home all day and becuase of that our relationship was seriously deteriorating. 3 months after i had the baby i finally started having a little more energy and was looking for work again. BH something finally came my way cuz my baby screams all day. shes 4 months and cries A LOT! i cant handle being at home with her all day. maybe cuz your baby is older its easier for you. my husband who has way more patients then me has now been a stay at home dad and has grown quite attached to the little one. i love seeing him interact with her because I rarely see fathers do that. and i get to leave the house and keep my sanity and I am thrilled. so like i said we have the exact opposite situation. but i have such kinas sofrim that you are the way you are with your baby. you were just born to me a jewish mother. and he is one lucky little man to have a mom like you! good luck with everything. bezras Hashem everything will “work” out fine! :).

    by the way as a side note. i dont know what kind of work you do. but if you really want to stay home with your son i have a friend that also wanted to work but didnt want to leave her son so she opened a small play group in her home and babysat a few kids and made money! she figured i’m watching my own kid anyway, what difference is it if i watch a few more and it worked out great for her! is that something you would consider?

    #960499
    mercury
    Member

    also i wanted to add, that when you do indeed start work again, try change your mindset. everyday wake up and say “i love my baby and i am going work to help support him”. it wont change the situation but it may help ease the stress of leaving him by focusing on the positive. at work too when you start to miss him focus on that. you may not want to go back to work but your saying both you and your husband agree on the fact that you have to. sometimes in life we just cant change a situation. but we can change how we perceive them. i truly do wish you much luck and may i get to be be half the mother you are!

    #960500
    Bored214
    Participant

    MorahRach i understand u totally but i can completely agree with Mercury too.

    Bh i can stay at home for the moment and look after my kids, and i’m so happy that i’m able to and that i’m there to watch them grow and watch them take all their firsts, but at the same time my babies cry so much i wish i’d have a job just for a couple of hours just to keep my sanity.

    I’d love to be able to play and cuddle them all day but its not so easy when they’re screaming. It also gets difficult just to do basic household things when ur babies cry all day which is why in a way its easier to get out and work and then at least u feel like your doing something useful by earning some money.

    Just curious morahrach – how does ur baby behave – has he always been an easy baby or more on the difficult side?

    #960501
    Bored214
    Participant

    oh so the reason why i don’t go and work is because i dont trust the babysitter to hold my baby as much as i would when they cry.

    #960502
    MorahRach
    Member

    Thanks for your responses. So I honestly can’t imagine feeling as you too, but good for you for admitting how you feel and doing what’s best for you. I never find that I’m bored, ever. We do so much bH I am happy that I feel like I have given him a great first year of life. I also sympathize, my son doesn’t cry or fuss ever. Unless he’s exhausted and its way past his bed time, or gets a boo-boo, never. He turned 1 two weeks ago and the only time he has ever thrown a “fit” was last night because we were in the car coming home from somewhere at 10pm and he lost it when we got back. I also have him sleeping in my bed, not sure if that makes a difference. He slept in his crib in my room until 6 months beautifully, when we moved it to his own room he just couldn’t adapt and I refused to let him cry it out, so he’s been with me ever since. It’s good because he still likes to nurse during the night once or twice. All I can say is, I wish I could make a Parnassa taking care if him and being with him always. I worked for a few years full time, 2 of them I either full time and taught at night as well, I’m not lazy it’s not like I don’t want to work because I want to hang out. No! I genuinely want to be with my son and not let him be in the care of a stranger who doesn’t love him like I do and who literally wouldn’t take a bullet for him as I would. Ah.

    #960503
    rebdoniel
    Member

    I work at the Metropolitan Council on Jewish Poverty, in the Career Services division. I’d be happy to offer assistance for any services you may need looking to re-enter the workforce.

    #960504
    MorahRach
    Member

    Thanks rebdoniel. BH bH bH!!!!! I accepted a job at my old school, where I worked for a few years before giving birth! I can bring my son they have classrooms for babies and I will be on the other side of the building but can peek in on him during lunch etc. yay! Hashem always takes care of us and helps all you have to do is ask!!!

    #960505
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    Hooray!!

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 15 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.