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Which is why the kesubah should not be read publicly at weddings. It is very few peoples business.
twisted: You are challenging Minhag Yisroel?
In any event, it is a matter of public record whether she was previously married or not. Hopefully she hasn’t sinned, but if she has she hasn’t anyone else to blame.
Yes shlishi, I challenge minhagim. This particular one is common, but not universal, and bizmanenu, rl’zn, if it can be a cause of someone’s public shaming, we should let it go, lo plug. Kiddushin has to be with a minyan, thats all the “public record” required. You need not agree wih me.
“the minhag of our fathers is [equivalent to] Torah” (Tosafos ????? 20 beis s.v. nifsal). Pesachim 50 rules that a minhag is binding upon all later generations.
Do you think your concerns were not considered by the rabbonim? Do you think something changed in the modern era?
twisted, I don’t really believe that anyone really listens to the reading of the kesubah to hear whether or not the Kallah is a besulah or not. So I don’t really think it is that big an issue.
My question is how did this thread turn around to be about this topic when the OP’s question really is what happens when someone tries to trick the other party and a friend of the other party is witness to it, should they tell or not?
can you tell us what you did? im thinking about this story a lot and so curious to know what happened
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