Its not only what you say…

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  • #589140
    SJSinNYC
    Member

    I figured I would bring this up while we are all (relatively) getting along. Sometimes, these things are easier to hear when you are not in a heated debate.

    Just remember, whenever you type anything, that its not only what you say but how you say it. Try to reread what you wrote to see if its offensive, combatitive, just plain nasty…remember, there is a BIG difference between disagreeing with a philosophy, psak halacha etc and attacking the Rabbi, person etc.

    We are all (for the most part) guilty of saying nasty things in haste. I am no exception to this. I hope this doesnt come across negatively – I really mean this for the health of the coffee room. I started to stay away a bit because I didnt like some of the comments I was making…it was going away from the respect I try to usually show to people and moving into the offensive category.

    #631293
    Jewess
    Member

    I think that when typing words, as opposed to speaking them, it’s hard for people to understand what you mean sometimes. I may say something jokingly and smile when I am face to face with somebody but it may come across as rude in cyber world. Uggg…technology. I think YWN needs emoticons. 🙂

    #631294
    mchemtob
    Member

    I’m a nightly reader of the cr and very rarely post…I respect you for noticing a problem with the cr postings (a reason why I rarely post) … be it too personal in terms of attacking one another or just too personal, (ie: manicure schedules) and I commend you for taking a positive step to be a part of the solution 🙂

    #631295
    feivel
    Participant

    SJ

    absolutely

    #631296
    yoshi
    Member

    Jewess – Took the words right out of my mouth. Totally agree!

    #631297
    SJSinNYC
    Member

    Anon, thank you, but sometimes I slip up. I made a particularly nasty comment to one poster (and then apologized rather quickly), but that was really my wake up call!

    #631298
    RoshYeshivah
    Member

    Don’t you know the story? a boy learning in israel sent his father a nice letter about his learning etc… and at the end he wrote”papa please send me pants-tate shik mir hoizen” the father comes home in a bad mood and reads the letter and everything just makes him mad and when he comes to the end he screams”is that the way you ask your father for pants?! with such disrespect! as if i have to give him pants?!”a half our later the father calms down and rereads the letter and says “wow such a wonderful boy he’s learning,.. and in the end he ask me so nicely to send him pants with such warmth and respect!” point is it’s a matter of how you look at it,

    #631299
    oomis
    Participant

    SJS, I cannot recall a single instance where I thought you wrote something disrespectfully, even while disagreeing with someone.

    #631300
    squeak
    Participant

    oomis1105

    Member

    SJS, I cannot recall a single instance where I thought you wrote something disrespectfully, even while disagreeing with someone.

    Which exactly proves RY’s point.

    #631301
    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    RY- this boy definitely does not run in my circles. letters? only pants? pahleez- ah bissel hasugis mein kind

    #631302
    myshadow
    Member

    mchemtob, what’s wrong with manicure schedules?

    #631303
    SJSinNYC
    Member

    Oomis, I assure you it was a nasty comment. I apologized and the member forgave me (and wasn’t too insulted either). I did feel very bad.

    I realize on the internet that its especially hard to make sure that tone and inflection come across. This happens a lot with sarcasm, saying things tongue-in-cheek or even the other person just reading it wrong during a heated debate.

    Thats why its especially important to be so careful!

    #631304
    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    myshadow- just came back from my pedicure, yum, how relaxing and delicious (i honestly hope this didn’t just go 747)

    anyone familiar with the 747 expression?

    #631305
    beacon
    Participant

    areivim, sorry it just went over my head 😉

    #631306
    brooklyn19
    Participant

    completely blank. must be you made it up – never heard of it!

    #631307
    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    way to go beacon

    #631308
    brooklyn19
    Participant

    areivim – just tell us it’s like “no soap radio” and we promise we’ll laugh for you :}

    #631309

    never heard it but from beacon’s response I can figure it out, I guess

    #631310
    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    charlie- i see they taught ‘reading comprehension through context’ in the old days

    #631311
    RoshYeshivah
    Member

    Squeak i see i scored a point with you for my story, thats a big achievement! and areivim this story was told before you were born!(about 16 years ago lol)

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