Limericks!

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Viewing 50 posts - 751 through 800 (of 810 total)
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  • #1221838

    Fine, I think I will try again

    Im not a limerick gal, my friend

    This may be fun

    For everyone

    But songs are much easier to blend

    #1221839

    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack

    You’ll never guess who is back?

    For now I’m here

    But leaving for a year

    Since the Coffee Room is still out of whack.

    The Coffee Room has too many rules

    And lost most of its prized jewels

    So I say “Hello”

    Now I gotta go

    But I wish you all a Happy April Fools

    (And a Gutten Chodesh!)

    #1221840

    No, I couldn’t write a limerick or rhyme

    as I once wrote before, way back in time

    but who says we’ve lost

    the jewels who were crossed

    maybe just changed names – IT’S NO CRIME

    #1221841

    SaysMe
    Member

    welcome back! A blast from the past whoa

    #1221842

    Goan Atzum
    Member

    1. There once was a man named bashere

    whose problem was he couldnt hear

    in his town of telz

    they didnt have belz

    so his door read “bash here for bashere”

    2. I have an old friend, a good man

    who had a very large wing span

    every day in a tizzy

    he would get home real dizzy

    from his job as a human ceiling fan

    3. One day a picture was blamed

    for a crime, “I’m innocent” he exclaimed

    next day he was jailed

    but justice had failed

    because you see the picture was framed

    4. There once was town called new york

    were everyone loved to eat pork

    they ate with a hand

    and thought it was grand

    till someone discovered the fork

    5. I have quite a good friend named ike

    but thank g-d we look nothing alike

    though it does him no harm

    having his ears on his arm

    you should see what his glasses look like

    6. His familial mutations are keen

    though alway seem to cause scenes

    his friends went on rants

    cause he never wore pants

    you seen gene had jeans in his genes

    7. he found a way to make flower growth spike

    by attaching them to the wheels of a trike

    some found it real funny

    his trying to make money

    peddling his petal pedal bike

    #1221843

    Goan Atzum
    Member

    8. I know an old pirate named mos

    who had hooks for his fingers and toes

    it was all going okay

    they never got in his way

    Till one day when he picked his nose

    9. and then there was that other shnook

    who had utensils instead of a hook

    as a pirate he stunk

    cause his weapons were junk

    but he sure made one heck of a cook

    10. don’t forget about the captains daughter

    when there was no wind, she did what he taught’er

    she would stand by the sail

    and sneeze out a squall

    cause you see she was allergic to water

    11. so now its time to bid adieu

    as they set sail ‘cross the ocean blue

    when you see them a’coming

    know that laughs are forthcoming

    at the captain and his weirdly shaped crew

    #1221844

    There once was the Sun

    Put in the creation

    It moved away

    So our hearts began to stray

    But yet we are still a nation

    #1221845

    There once was a man named bob

    He liked corn on the cob

    He liked it with salt and butter

    Ans so he used to mutter

    “For corn on the cob, a bank would I rob”

    #1221846

    oomis
    Participant

    GA – GREAT stuff.

    There once were some folks in CR,

    Thought THEY wrote the best stuff, by far.

    Their lines often lacked

    Some panache and/or tact,

    Keep your day jobs, whoever you are! :p

    #1221847

    Ok, Oomis, I got the hint

    My stuff aint worth a mint

    So maybe I should stop

    And the fabulous CR drop

    My “input” is not going to print

    #1221848

    oomis
    Participant

    Little Froggie, I don’t think I meant you

    And surely I wouldn’t prevent you

    From writing whatever

    Is well-said and clever,

    (And with that, a Good Shabbos I bensch you!!!!)

    #1221850

    Malbim,

    I don’t want to move to Austin,

    I’m happy to stay here in Boston,

    though I might move to Texas,

    if you buy me a Lexus,

    with free kids’ tuition tossed in!

    #1221851

    Malbim
    Member

    Daas Yochid, just visit Austin,Tx

    #1221852

    I said I do not want to go,

    unless you will cough up some dough.

    So stop being funny,

    and show me the money,

    ’til then, emphatically, NO!!

    #1221853

    Malbim
    Member

    DaasYochid, please visit Austin,Tx.

    #1221854

    I repeat, I refuse to get lost in

    the furnace you like to call Austin.

    There’s one little chance,

    that DY recants;

    but a pretty penny it’ll be costin’.

    #1221855

    Malbim
    Member

    DaasYochid, just try Austin,Tx and u will be liken it.

    #1221856

    I’m not going to the land of the cattle,

    despite your endless prattle.

    So go on about Austin,

    but me, you’re exhaustin’

    So I’m gettin’ out of this battle.

    (I’ll save you the trouble, though – DaasYochid, just try Austin, Tx.)

    #1221857

    Malbim
    Member

    DaasYochid, here is proof Austin,Tx is great : Sorry, no external links

    read and weep.

    #1221858

    cozimjewish
    Member

    Can’t be bothered reading the rest of this thread so sorry if this has already been said:

    A flea and a fly in a floo

    They were stuck, so what could they do?

    “Let us flee,” said the fly.

    “Let us fly,” said the flea.

    So they flew through a flaw in the floo.

    #1221859

    oomis
    Participant

    What’s with this aversion to Austin?

    It’s no more a challenge than Boston.

    So go South or East,

    I don’t care in the least,

    And now my opinion, I’ve tossed in.

    #1221860

    cozimjewish
    Member

    I have to admit that it’s true,

    What you’re on about I haven’t a clue,

    Coz reading this thread

    As I’ve already said

    Is something I don’t plan to do.

    #1221861

    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    I’m about to sign off for a long while

    But I ask you all to go the extra mile

    if it’s not too much

    please keep in touch

    My contact info is in my profile.

    #1221862

    A lot of people who are out cleaning will be very sorry they missed you!

    #1221863

    Joseph
    Participant

    Dr. P, you it is always nice to see

    Going the extra mile for you is the least we can do

    Giving the personal touch is not asking for much

    Soon I’m going to be a limerick writer, so I better not retire

    #1221865

    Dr. Pepper
    Participant

    There is so much that I have to say,

    But I’ve got meetings the whole day,

    I hope to be seen

    On April Fools 2018,

    Since April 1st next year is a Saturday.

    I’m about to sign off for a long while

    But I ask you all to go the extra mile

    if it’s not too much

    please keep in touch

    My contact info is in my profile.

    #1221866

    On April Fools we always see,

    the famous Dr. P.,

    with rhymes so insightful,

    cute and delightful,

    though only once annually.

    But now a horror is seen,

    he threatens to be so mean!

    Please, sir, don’t rob us,

    Post on Motzaei Shabbos!

    So we can see you in ’17.

    #1221867

    The Queen
    Participant

    April Fools is Limerick day?

    With Dr. Pepper the poetry star?

    I’ll enter the fray

    Just so I can say

    That 2018 is too distant and far

    #1221868

    screwdriverdelight
    Participant

    The Queen, I like your poetry

    But I can see

    that you either have rhyming flaws

    Or you don’t know limerick laws

    (Just like me)

    #1221869

    The Queen
    Participant

    I googled the limerick laws

    I see now my rhyming had flaws

    I’ll try it once more

    And this time for sure

    My poetry won’t be so poor

    #1221870

    The Queen
    Participant

    I counted the syllables carefully

    And managed to mess up so awfully

    The rhymings not great

    I hope it’s not late

    To fix up my limericks artfully

    #1221871

    MRS PLONY
    Participant

    One day I dropped an egg.

    It landed on a keg.

    All over the kitchen it did splatter

    Some in my mother’s cake batter,

    And on my brother’s leg.

    Princess Plony won her sixth grade limerick contest with that one two years ago. Not bad for a sixth grader.

    Another one of her gems:

    There was once a lad

    Who was very bad.

    He never did tie his shoe.

    On his teacher’s chair he put glue.

    And boy was she mad!

    #1221872

    The Queen
    Participant

    very nice Mrs. P. Enjoy the nachas!

    #1221873

    golfer
    Participant

    Haiku to Ms Plony

    Ms Plony’s Daughter

    Has great poetry talent

    Wishing her Nachas

    #1221874

    The Queen
    Participant

    I’m awfully tired tonight

    I’ve cleaned till it’s all done just right

    Next week we’re cooking

    Toward Pesach we’re looking

    When everything’s gleaming and bright

    #1221875

    MRS PLONY
    Participant

    Thank you Queen; thank you golfer.

    #1221876

    The Queen
    Participant

    The kitchen is being invaded

    With shmattes and soapsuds it’s raided

    Can’t wait to finish

    Oh how I’ll relish

    To know that I finally made it!

    #1221877

    The Queen
    Participant

    Now we are truly up to the cooking

    Sauteing and frying and baking

    compote and cupcake

    soup, kugel and steak

    I’ve got volunteers for the tasting

    #1221878

    In our house the children are packing,

    their tummies with loads of good snacking,

    theyre dreading the hour,

    when gone is the flour,

    and all their best junk foods are lacking.

    #1221879

    now dont think i cant cook or bake,

    there’s lots of great foods that i make,

    but those who like munching,

    can’t do without crunching,

    and they wont do with shehakol cake.

    #1221880

    The Queen
    Participant

    Now don’t think we don’t have the bread

    It’s all in the entrance instead

    Chametz we’re munchen

    Just not in the kitchen

    We’re busy preparing a spread

    #1221881

    Joseph
    Participant

    limerick ahein

    limerick aherr

    if I knew how to make ’em, I’d have a good career

    #1221882

    minyan gal
    Member

    Once again I’ll try my hand at rhyme

    Though I miss the mark half of the time

    My thoughts keep on coming

    The metre I’m humming

    This lack of content is really a crime.

    #1221883

    minyan gal
    Member

    I’ve jumped in the fray once again

    I now type, no longer use pen

    Thoughts must be concise

    You can’t do this twice

    This separates boys from the men.

    #1221884

    benignuman
    Participant

    My favorite all-time limerick:

    I sat next to the Duchess at tea

    Uncomfortable as can be

    For her rumblings abdominal

    Were simply phenomenal

    And everyone thought it was me

    #1221885

    I. M. Shluffin
    Participant

    How can all of we mortal persons

    Be in two different places at once?

    The answer’s quite clear,

    For I’m CR posting here,

    Though I’m sitting in class like a dunce.

    #1221886

    minyan gal
    Member

    I’m composing a new little ditty

    So this name will show up bright and pretty

    I’m giving a bump

    To the top it will jump

    So you’ll all the chance to be witty.

    #1221887

    I forget this thread existed! I see I posted here, I have no recollection of it though lol. Great to have yo back!

    #1221888

    mendyonline
    Participant

    There once was an old man, a bit weird,

    Who said “It’s just as I feared”,

    Two Owls and a Hen,

    Four Larks and a Wren,

    Have all built their nest in my beard.

    #1221889

    Hashemisreading
    Participant

    there once was man named Yiddle

    who lived to play the fiddle

    but when he would play

    they all ran away

    so they wouldn’t let him in the band

Viewing 50 posts - 751 through 800 (of 810 total)
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