Limericks!

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  • #1221170

    can’t say made this one up, but it’s one everyone knows:

    there once was a maid from japan

    whose limericks never would scan

    when questioned why

    she replied “because I

    trytofitasmanysyllablesintotheconcludinglineofthelimerickasIpossiblycan”

    #1221171

    Did I hear you say “rare disease”

    I beg you to reconsider please

    This is more accurately a pleasure

    Of the very highest measure

    Now don’t you go be a tease

    #1221172

    minyan gal, to you I must say

    Kudos for coming to play

    In this sandbox of ours

    Building castles and towers

    From words as if it were clay

    #1221173

    Now it’s time to say thank you

    To BLINKY who gave us the cue

    To start rhyming limericks

    It sure has given us kicks

    And an outlet for expression too

    #1221174

    minyan gal
    Member

    vnishmartemmeod –

    I must say I’m with you on that one

    Blinky, you’ve given us much fun

    I spend all my spare time

    wrapped up in five line rhyme

    And no longer ever see sun.

    #1221175

    minyan gal
    Member

    I think that I’ve had enough

    Of this rhyming limerick stuff

    I no longer can work

    All my duties I shirk

    And I’m looking quite ragged and rough.

    #1221176

    blinky
    Participant

    Mazel tov mazel tov, this is not a ploy

    I became an aunt of a lovely baby boy

    A vacht nacht and bris

    You surely won’t want to miss

    Baruch Hashem, my heart is bursting with joy!

    #1221177

    minyan gal
    Member

    Blinky a big Mazel Tov

    This is just the news that I love

    A new family member

    To help us remember

    The gifts of Hashem from above.

    #1221178

    blinky
    Participant

    minyan and veneshmartem- its terrific,

    that you thanked me for starting this topic,

    appreciation,

    causes elation,

    And you made me happy real quick!

    Also just a thing to note

    your limericks that you both wrote

    Are a lot of fun

    I hope your not done

    please keep them going- you have my vote!

    #1221179

    blinky
    Participant

    Minyan Gal, i just noticed a beautiful thing,

    You have a compliment for everything,

    You seem genuinely happy,

    On the new birth in my family,

    Lets just hope there will be more simchas coming!

    #1221180

    bpt
    Participant

    Mazel tov, Blinky!

    Now lets hear the mazel tov we’re all waiting for…… (and remember, simcha goreres simcha!)

    #1221181

    blinky
    Participant

    To make up a limerick is quite cool,

    It can be at work or coming home from school

    In the spa or when you dine,

    Or while you wait your turn on line,

    Sitting in traffic, or even by tanning at the pool!

    And thank you BP Totty:) Amen.

    Any more limericks coming? You didn’t write one in awhile, You had some good ones……

    #1221182

    bpt
    Participant

    Not any time soon, Blink. The “broken telephone” story I undertook will keep me hopping for at least a week.

    Unlike my usual posts, the “telephone” story will require thought!

    #1221183

    I gotta save the limerick thread

    It’s on the bottom almost dead

    If no one is going to write

    It’ll go down without a fight

    There, I done it before going to bed

    #1221184

    minyan gal
    Member

    Vnishmart I thank you dear

    For keeping us a place in here

    The Coffee Room would be too drab

    If not for our humorous gab

    I hope I’ve made myself quite clear.

    (vnishmartemmeod – please forgive me for abbreviating your name in this limerick – the full name did not fit the meter correctly) MG

    #1221185

    blinky
    Participant

    Billy the pest did exist,

    He once held a rock in his fist,

    It did not miss,

    The skunk let out a hiss,

    And picked up its tail and went psssssssssssssst!!!

    #1221186

    foregiveness granted for chopping my name

    after all it is only a game

    as long as you do not slack

    and remember to come back

    besides, I’m not looking for fame

    #1221187

    oomis
    Participant

    Hi V’nishmartemmeod,

    I’d like to offer some kovod,

    Your name may be long

    So would you think it wrong

    If we printed it out in Morse Code?

    #1221188

    blinky
    Participant

    Oomis your idea is pretty interesting,

    However morse code can get confusing,

    Its quite a load

    to write in code

    We’ll just have to think of something.

    How about just plain “vnishmart”

    I think that sounds very smart,

    If you agree,

    than thats what it’ll be,

    Let us know so your new name we can start!

    #1221189

    blinky
    Participant

    Some CR members are Minyan, Doc, and 80,

    Oomis, d a, Squeak and Totty,

    ICOT and Gavra,

    Sac and Kapusta,

    Well Informed, Wolf, apusheta, and Blinky!

    (no offense to anyone who wasn’t mentioned- maybe ill come up with another one)

    #1221190

    minyan gal
    Member

    Vnishmart said we were forgiven

    To chopping her name we were driven

    For meter and rhyme

    Took far too much time

    When using the name she’s now livin’.

    #1221191

    minyan gal
    Member

    Around here my name’s Minyan Gal

    And to all I am really a pal

    Although I’m not frum

    I just love Coffee Room

    And feel welcome by you – the Klal.

    Although you don’t know me so well

    My friends really think that I’m swell

    For I donate time and gelt

    To those that need help

    Money’s raised by the cakes that I sell.

    #1221192

    not I
    Member

    There was a boy named Ned

    Who never went to bed

    He would stay up all night

    In the morn was nice and bright

    One day he dropped dead!

    Had to share my sisters.. From 5th Grade.. was the teachers favorite!

    #1221193

    blinky
    Participant

    klal, gelt…-sounds pretty frum to me:)

    #1221194

    squeak
    Participant

    er, beg to differ. If “klal” rhymes with “pal”…. <headshake>

    #1221195

    blinky
    Participant

    Not I- cute. i guess ill also share my sisters..(its goes something like this- dont remember it that well)

    There once was a girl in a play,

    Break a leg is what they say,

    She misunderstood,

    And fell on a wood,

    And caused a two week delay!

    #1221196

    blinky
    Participant

    Moderators this is for you- Minyan gal asked earlier in this thread to have her name changed to “limerycist’ or something, i think its beffitting as she contributed a lot to this thread, so can you change it? (she helped me with my name change so i want to pay her back:) thanx

    #1221197

    blinky
    Participant

    Thanx mods!!! minyan- how do you like your new name?

    #1221198

    minyan gal
    Member

    Blinquie: I love my new name. Will do a poem about it later when I have more time. Todah Rabah.

    #1221199

    oomis
    Participant

    There was a Gal, “Minyan” by name.

    She desired not to keep it the same.

    Her wishes persisted

    To be “Limercist”-ed,

    And now she’s gone on to great fame.

    #1221200

    blinky
    Participant

    A name change Minyan did persist,

    Which the mods seemed to have missed,

    So i helped her,

    Its sounds so much better,

    She really is an extraordinaire limericist!

    #1221201

    blinky
    Participant

    oomis one one oh five,

    You also keep this thread alive,

    Why don’t you add some spice,

    A name change would be nice,

    Maybe a rhyming wive?

    #1221202

    minyan gal
    Member

    My new moniker well I adore it

    Never heard one quite like this before it

    Became my tagline

    But by me thats just fine

    Hope I don’t have to pay to insure it.

    A kippah I’d love to crochet

    But I have not yet learned the way

    To hold thread and hook

    Cannot fathom the book

    So for another’s work I’ll pay.

    #1221203

    oomis
    Participant

    Whatsa rhyming wive, Minyan Gal?

    A name change is not meant to be.

    My own suits me just perfectly.

    In case you don’t know,

    I’m attached to it so,

    And anything else just ain’t ME!

    #1221204

    oomis
    Participant

    I have to say that this thread and the riddle one are my favorites. They really help get my left-brain right-brain working again!

    #1221205

    Like a squirrel to acorns

    And a two year old to newborns

    I am quite attracted to

    This limerick-le-do

    Like a bee to a rose among thorns

    #1221206

    blinky
    Participant

    Whatsa rhyming wive, Minyan Gal?

    Actually oomis i needed to have a word that has the “ive” sound and i know its not a perfect fit but it’ll have to do:)

    There once was a boy named Ray

    Who all he did was sleep all day,

    The time before a test,

    All he did was rest,

    And yet he still scored an “A”!

    #1221207

    could it be that his rested mind

    automatically knowlege did find

    by tapping into innate ability

    and outputting it with facility

    ignoring studying myths of mankind

    #1221208

    What is it about limericks that enhances your (my!) creative thinking process…? I’m intriqued… as tired as I’ll be, I could still squeeze something out of my brain if I’m doing it via limerick…

    #1221209

    blinky
    Participant

    Once a week i am filled with bliss,

    When we dont have it, its sorely missed,

    We eat challa and fish,

    And cholent so delish,

    Baruch Hashem for shabbos!

    Have a great shabbos everybody!!!!!!

    #1221210

    oomis
    Participant

    It taps into the left side of your brain, when you rhyme words with a specific meter, and btw, a side benefit for us “old foks” is that it helps exercise the mind, much like a crossword puzzle does.

    #1221211

    minyan gal
    Member

    With serious apologies for my very poor Yiddish. My (very modern and very Zionist) parents sent me to a Hebrew day school and I taught myself to understand Yiddish so that I could understand what my parents were talking about when they didn’t want us to know what they were talking about.

    Heint is Shabbos – borei prei hagofen

    Macht aufen yayin, nisht aufen bromfen

    Auf kiddush mir vell essen

    A bissel – zolst nisht fressen

    Und gayen in der haim tsu shlofen.

    Shabbat Shalom and Shavuah Tov

    #1221212

    minyan gal
    Member

    Oy – because there is noone hosting

    I had to bump this posting

    Before it disappears

    And drives us all to tears

    So please begin some boasting.

    #1221213

    I am one of the freqent limerick contributors

    My amazing talents to showcase, of course

    No boasting, I’m too humble

    Oops… I’m starting to bumble

    I better just get back to my chores

    #1221214

    blinky
    Participant

    vnnishmart and minyan gal,

    Thanx for being such a pal,

    When this thread is dumped,

    You always have it bumped,

    I really got to give it to y’all!

    #1221215

    msseeker
    Member

    There was an abuser named Hannity

    Who questioned his family’s sanity

    Doc said his disorder

    Is right on the border

    Of a very difficult personality

    #1221216

    blinky
    Participant

    msseeker- love it (welcome to this thread:) Did you make it up?

    #1221217

    msseeker
    Member

    Yes. Somehow this thread got me thinking about mental illness. We really should start a serious thread on Borderline Personality Disorder, the worst illness b/c the sicko blames everyone else, and so prevalant in our community causing untold chorbonos. Here’s another one on depression:

    There was a young lady named Raizy

    Who seemed quite selfish and lazy

    Each morning she said

    I’m staying in bed

    And everyone thought she was crazy

    #1221218

    msseeker
    Member

    Frogot to thank you for the compliment, Blinky.

    #1221219

    blinky
    Participant

    Your welcome! Ahhhhh its nice to have a new face here (not to say that im bored of the regulars here…) Keep them coming!

Viewing 50 posts - 101 through 150 (of 810 total)
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