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The funniest thing is when someone snoops in the medicine cabinet and everything falls out!
oomis, I wish all hosts were like you! I have been in a situation before where I was given the key to an apartment with no instructions, no note, no anything and had to figure it out for myself. I don’t think I tried literally every single door but it was definitely unclear where I was going.
I just think that for the two seconds that the guest will see the bedroom before realizing it is the wrong one, anything that conspicuous would be easy to clean up ahead of time. Or they can spend that time writing a note with directions instead of cleaning up. Either way, if you don’t trust them not to go into your bedroom, you shouldn’t trust them to stay in your guest room.
what in the world is everyone going crazy about? any homeowner has the full right to lock a door to their house. for petes sake, its their house!! people do get stuff stolen and do have the right to protect themselves from any inconvenience, real or imagined. you people are retarded.
The funniest thing is when someone snoops in the medicine cabinet and everything falls out!
When you say funniest, you mean creepiest, right?
Anyone who would snoop in a medicine cabinet deserves to be shot.
Popa – I am actually in agreement with you 😉 (remember all our good arguments in the past?)
But seriously, SLICHOSGENENDEL- what is wrong with someone locking their bedroom door? It’s their home and their business. Maybe they didn’t have time to clean up, maybe they were being cautious – yes frum people can be snoopy and look into people’s personal stuff. I’ve heard stories. Whatever their reason, it’s none of your business. It’s not weird at all! As someone else pointed out, be grateful that they let u use their home. I hope you brought them a gift to thank them.
Wow… Let’s close this topic and move it along. Nothing left to see here. Starting to feel bad for the OP… Not that I’m any less guilty of the much needed bashing and putting-someone-in-their-place that just went on here.
JF02- You better jump ship because the one you are on is going down really fast! :O
No ship-jumping here.
For the host: If you don’t trust them, don’t invite them. It’s that simple.
For the guest: It is bizarre. Acknowledge to yourself that it is bizarre and say nothing to your host.
Curiosity – True – we should not be bashing anyone. We can and should express our opinions nicely. I hope I didn’t offend the OP. Please forgive me Slichosgenendel if I did.
For the host: If you don’t trust them, don’t invite them. It’s that simple.
Let’s say you mostly trust them, so would be willing to have them stay but only if you lock your bedroom. Should you invite them? What if they will have a hard time finding another place?
This converstion is absurd.
The OP proves that locking makes sense. Here we have a well intentioned individual who would never go into someones’s bedroom without permission and all the more so when explicitly told not to, and yet accidently he almost did.
SG you should be thankful they locked the door presumably otherwise youd have gone in (albeit by accident)
This of course would’ve led to some other fellow posting here how he leant his apt and explicitly gave instructions not to go in and yet the person did.
Oh I can here the replies:
“how do you know, you should be dan lekaf zechus…”
“Maybe he was looking for the guest room and got lost”
“Oh that’s whay I don’t lend out my apt…”
and of course:
“You should have locked the door”
Even if they had all the time in the world to clean..who cares!
How can you “mostly” trust a person? What does that even mean? Do you really want someone as a guest in your home if they will violate your privacy against your explicit instructions?
people have evil inclinations. we are born with them. maybe you havent met yours yet. usually, it tries to make you do bad things. sometimes, people listen to the little voice and do bad things, sometimes they dont. id rather lock the door..
If the door had been unlocked the OP would not have gone in, he would have cracked the door open for a second, quickly seen it was the wrong one, closed it and moved on probably without seeing anything untoward.
JF: give me a break.
What if they don’t want you peeking in at all even if by accident?
And for blazes sake–why do you care if they lock their door? How are you possibly taking offense to it?
One of the visitors little kids might have gone in and made a mess before be was detected by his parents, if it was unlocked.
I know of people who did a favor to a friend and loaned out their apartment. They knew the friend, but they did not know the people coming in to the apartment. How can they “trust” these people that they don’t know. They can only hope that they will treat their possessions with the respect that they obviously deserve. This friend of mine came home to find their house trashed. It was supposed to have been a couple and a small child coming to only sleep in their apartment. It turns out that there were 8 people there and they ate and had a big party there. What gives? These are frum people I would imagine.
Other cases I know of are people who are making a simcha and make an agreement with other neighbors in the area who are making a simcha but at a different week, so they agree to give their apartment to the other when they won’t be home. But in this case you can imagine that someone making a chassanah or Bar Mitzvah on Thursday has little time to make all the rooms spotless and presentable, or even throw out all the garbage and put all the laundry away before they dash off to their simcha out of town. They just throw everything into the master bedroom and lock it. Why do they have to clean it up just because someone is going to be staying in the other room/s of the house?
JF02, I think that sometimes people crack the door, see they made a mistake, and then become curious later on and go back to see personal effects. A person can feel invaded by this even if they planned on trusting the person.
People are entitled to their privacy in their own home.
The fact that the OP is annoyed, insulted and shocked, THAT’S creepy.
JF: Many people had awful experiences with guests that they did trust. They learnt the hard way.
Obviously not every guest opened the door just a crack and closed it right away…
And then there were the guests who took home my towels …
Jewishfeminist02- It’s not just about trust. How about simple logistics- for instance, if they have little kids, well, kids sometimes poke about where they shouldn’t. Sure, I may trust they’re good parents who teach their children to behave, supervise them etc, but even under the best of circumstances, young kids can be unpredictable and run off and do what they’ve been told not to.
Also, I don’t need people getting a glimpse of how our beds are positioned and other private stuff in our room. It’s not hiding or mistrusting, it’s basic tznius (we don’t let our kids in our room past a certain age). And yes, sometimes it’s a mess and it’s embarrassing. “Just a few minutes” to tidy up my room? Puh-leeze. I’m going through a lot of trouble to keep the common areas plus guest room worthy of your visit- why should I have the extra burden of tidying up my room rather than just locking it?
When you say funniest, you mean creepiest, right?
Anyone who would snoop in a medicine cabinet deserves to be shot”
Yes, I do, it is really nasty. And while I don’t hold the extreme punishing view you espoused, I say it serves ’em right, when they get caught red-handed. A little like the blue dye-pack on bank money when it is stolen.
Chanie, OY!
For the last time, I do not TAKE OFFENSE, I just think it is WEIRD.
I made a distinction on the previous page between guests that the person knows and guests that they don’t know. If you are in fact inviting a “friend of a friend” that you have never met or barely know, it’s perfectly reasonable to lock your bedroom door. But if you are inviting someone you know well, you should be able to trust them to stay out of your personal space and/or control your children.
Slichos: If you ever stay in my house, I’m locking all the doors.
Popa & Oomis: I hosted someone couple years ago, (I was home) and they went snooping in my medicine cabinet. They deliberately left the door to the cabinet open so that I should be aware that they snooped.
True story, no kidding.
This thread brought another one to mind.
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/too-many-pinocchios
You’d be hard pressed to find people that don’t snoop around in medicine chests. Such is human nature.
You all think I locked the bedroom to keep him out, but the real reason I locked it was to keep my ocelot from getting out of the room and bothering him. And this is the thanks I get.
You’d be hard pressed to find people that don’t snoop around in medicine chests. Such is human nature.
You’ve just been added to the list of people who get all the doors locked for them if they ever stay in my house.
I wouldn’t open up someone’s private cabinets, medicine chests, etc. It is simply wrong and immodest and a violation of privacy to do so. And I doubt anyone who grew up with proper values would.
Opening a medicine cabinet might not be for the sake of snooping. Not everyone remembers to pack bandages, tylenol, benadryl, or rubbing alcohol when going away for Shabbos. Most of the time I’m the only one to remember. They may have figured it’s okay to take what they needed. Whether they were correct or not is up to the host.
I’m not sure what’s in the medicine chest, Prozac?
What are you afraid of?
For someone so easily offended, you sure do seem callous about offending others.
popa – +1
I hate to say this but i am a snooper. If i’m invited to someone’s house i wont go through their kitchen cabinets, medicine cabinets, dressers, closets, drawers, etc.. but if i open a door (on purpose or not!!), i will look in to see what the room looks like. I have a tremendous interest in home decorating and love to see what people do with their furniture, pictures, paintings, linens, etc… So i guess i’m a partial snooper…;)
I too would lock my doors.
You’d be hard pressed to find people that don’t snoop around in medicine chests. Such is human nature.
I don’t. And many people I know don’t.
And about human nature, well, yeah, that’s what we’re supposed to be working on… Honesty, integrity and everything else that involves human nature.
As far as private stuff, I and most people I speak to don’t have any secrets in there. But it’s not the point. Snooping is snooping even if the cabinet is empty.
I just think it’s awesome that I understand the psychology behind it.
I think it is funny that you think you understand the psychology behind it when you have been given so many other reasons why they may have done it. And I think a messy room/tznius are much more likely reasons. They would definitely be mine.
Popa – “For someone so easily offended, you sure do seem callous about offending others.”
+10000
SGenendel – “I just think it’s awesome that I understand the psychology behind it.”
Oy – do you have issues! You actually think you know exactly why ppl do things? Wow! BTW – Thou protesteth too much! And you sound so bitter. I think I know exactly why your hosts locked their doors.(now i’m the one who knows why ppl do things)
SlichosGenendel: While i might lock my doors cuz i know that others too like to see what other peoples houses look like, doesnt mean everyone is a snoop. As just about everyone mentioned, its probably tznius or messy rooms that hosts dont want guests to see.
Re: they might need bandaids or Tylenol… I leave those out also on the bathroom sink, just in case. No one should be going through your cabinets. And for those who have admitted to doing so, it is a real temptation, and I hope you can stop, because you are invading someone else’s privacy when they did a chessed for you. Hakoras hatov alone, is a good reason not to do so, if nothing else.
“I’m not sure what’s in the medicine chest, Prozac?
What are you afraid of?”
What?! There are countless medications that people would like to keep private that have nothing to do with emotional issues, such as heart conditions, birth control,cancer, erectile dysfunction, fertility, sleep disorders. And even if it was Prozac or another medication due to an emotional/psychological issue a person has every right to keep that private! How old are you that you seem to lack basic understanding of someone’s privacy??
oomis- you sound like a wonderful hostess! Most people don’t remember these things. ObstacleIllusion- maybe I’m strange, but I don’t store prescription drugs in my medicine chest- only over the counter. Prescription drugs are in a more concealed place than where any family member that cuts their finger will open.
Gamanit – I agree with you because I’d expect someone to open my medicine chest, even if just for a Q-Tip, and I wouldn’t want them to see it. But people wouldn’t feel the need for privacy with regards to their medicine chest if all they had in their was Band-Aids, Tylenol, and Neosporin. Do they have a right to put it there and expect privacy to be respected is the question I suppose.
As i mentioned before, i dont open others cabinets, dressers, drawers, etc.. If i needed a bandaid, i’d wash the area and put pressure on it with a tissue. If i didnt have tylenol and the host wasnt around, i’d live with a headache for the night until i could borrow from someone the next day.
I, personally, would leave out a hostess basket including those odds and ends that one may forget (bobby pins, safety pins, tylenol, bandaids, tissues, cotton, a brush, ponyholders, etc..) in addition to a bit of nosh/drinks in case my guests were hungry/thirsty.
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