Matzav Inbox: Horrible Bosses in the Frum World

Matzav Inbox: Horrible Bosses in the Frum World
2025 December 9

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DISCLAIMER:

I did NOT write this article or any part of it.
I do NOT KNOW who wrote this article.
I just copied it exactly, from the Matzav Inbox.

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Dear Matzav Inbox,

There are things we tolerate in our community simply because
“that is how it has always been,” and then there are things that
should make every Yid stop in their tracks and say: This is a shandeh. 
What I am about to describe falls squarely into the latter category.

I am speaking about the way some bosses in the frum world treat their employees.

It is shocking that in a community built on middos, on Derech Eretz,
ve’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha, we still have individuals in positions of authority
who behave as if basic human dignity is optional.

People who talk down to their workers, who yell, who belittle, who humiliate,
who forget that the person standing in front of them is not “staff,” not “help,”
but a Yid created b’tzelem Elokim.

I have watched employees — hardworking, ehrliche, dependable people —
walk out of offices with their shoulders slumped, eyes glazed, faces drained of color.
Why? Because their frum boss shredded their dignity over a small mistake,
a misunderstood instruction, or worse, just because they were
the designated punching bag that day.

I have heard, and seen, stories of bosses screaming across the room,
mocking their workers, calling them names, treating them
in ways they themselves would never tolerate for a second.

And somehow, it continues.
Somehow, we have allowed it to become normal.

Where did we go wrong?
When did we decide that business is a heter to abandon basic decency?

When did we forget that becoming successful or 
yarshening a company from your dad or grandfather
does not give a person permission to become arrogant?
When did we stop holding individuals accountable
for acting like miniature tyrants instead of leaders?

We preach mussar. We attend shiurim about Bein Adam LeChaveiro.
We speak about creating a Kiddush HaShem in the workplace.
Yet, in the very same frum offices, behind closed doors,
the behavior is the opposite of everything we claim to stand for.

And the damage? It is enormous. It destroys morale. It erodes self-esteem.
It pushes people away from our community’s ideals. It scars them.
It teaches an entire generation that frumkeit and 
menschlichkeit are somehow separable. It is a disgrace.

We must stop pretending this is rare or exaggerated. It is not.
Too many people whisper these stories in the hallways,
afraid to speak loudly because they need their jobs.
Too many workers fear retaliation, fear losing their parnassah,
fear being labeled “difficult” for daring to ask for basic respect.

Every boss has a choice: to lift people up or to crush them.
To inspire or to intimidate. To behave like a leader or like a bully.
And every employee has the right — not a luxury,
a right — to be treated with dignity.

To those bosses who act with chesed, who model what it means
to be a true baal middos, who speak gently, correct respectfully,
and remember that their employees are human beings, yasher koach.
You are the ones creating a kiddush Hashem every single day.

But to the others — the ones whose voices thunder down hallways,
whose tempers flare without limit, whose arrogance fills the building
— they need to hear this loud and clear: Your behavior is a Chillul HaShem
.
It is not leadership. It is not strength. It is not professionalism.
It is cruelty wrapped in frum language.

If you can’t treat your employees with respect,
you should not be managing them. Step aside.
Get serious help. Learn mussar. Work on your temper.
Do whatever you need to do, but stop excusing your behavior
as “stress” or “pressure” or “that is just how I run my business.”

We, as a community, must demand better.
We must create workplaces where employees feel valued,
where communication is civil, where frumkeit and menschlichkeit coexist,
as they were always meant to.

Let us have the courage to say that cruelty is not a business model,
that yelling is not management, and that being frum 
is not a costume but a way of life that must permeate even the walls of an office.

If we cannot treat the people who work for us with dignity, what are we even building?

It is time to fix this. It is time to speak up.
It is time to stop allowing frum bullies to hide behind their titles.

Because at the end of the day, the greatest success
is not measured in profits, properties, or payrolls.
It is measured in how we treat other Yidden.

An Employee

The opinions expressed in letters on Matzav.com
do not necessarily reflect the stance of the Matzav Media Network.

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