Men & Mirrors

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  • This topic has 28 replies, 20 voices, and was last updated 12 years ago by bpt.
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  • #602562
    avhaben
    Participant

    I recall my rebbeim teaching men and mirrors are a bad combination. AFAIK, it isn’t a strictly halachic prohibition but rather something more subtle. Can anyone shed light on how Daas Torah views men using mirrors? Is the problem that it is considered a tool of beautification?

    And, I know many (but not all) guys have it, but is a mirror in your Tefilin bag an issue?

    #861232
    nitpicker
    Participant

    you included the answer in your question.

    #861233
    Sam2
    Participant

    Avhaben: The Tzitz Eliezer has a T’shuvah about mirrors for Tefillin. He says they’re unnecessary but never actually calls them Assur.

    #861234
    brech
    Participant

    Sam, Wouldn’t they be helpful for insuring your tefilin are on properly?

    If the Tzitz Eliezer discusses their permissibility on tefilin, the presumption must be their non-permissibility other times.

    #861235
    yitayningwut
    Participant

    There is nothing wrong with a man using a mirror, even l’chatchila, because the halachos of men not beautifying themselves as women do are subject to societal norms, and where it is the norm to do so, it is fine – see R’ Akiva Eiger at the end of YD 182.* The Ran (AZ 9b b’dafei haRif) is quoted as saying that the “?????” withhold themselves from doing so in any event, but ??? ??? ??? ??? ???.

    As Sam writes, looking in a mirror is not necessary for tefillin.

    *http://hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=9146&st=&pgnum=252&hilite=

    #861236
    brech
    Participant

    Men using mirrors is not a norm in Jewish society.

    #861237
    zahavasdad
    Participant

    If you dont use a Mirror, you cant drive safely

    #861238
    brech
    Participant

    You’re not looking at your car’s mirror to see your image.

    #861239
    far east
    Member

    since when is men using mirrors not a norm in jewish society?

    #861240
    yitayningwut
    Participant

    brech –

    First of all, everyone here knows you are wrong. Second, R’ Akiva Eiger says on the page before besheim the Prisha that we follow the norm in non-Jewish society regarding this.

    #861241
    sam4321
    Participant

    In sefer v’yismah Moshe,Rav Elyashiv was asked this question and he said a mirror is mutar for teffilin since the idea of a mirror has changed and is not considered a tachsit of women nowadays . Interestingly, there is a picture in gedolei yisroel portraits of greatness on page 65 showing Rav elyashiv l’shitoso using a mirror for tefillin.

    #861242
    Naysberg
    Member

    Is a psak permitting a mirror for Tefilin predicated on the assumption that it shouldn’t be used in general? Otherwise why the need for a psak, and why issue the psak without saying it’s okay anytime?

    #861243
    sam4321
    Participant

    I am assuming everyone knows the kitzur shulchan aruch, but for those who don’t know it it is 171:3: If in a place where it is normal for a man to use a mirror than it is permitted for everything.

    ???? ???? ????? ????? ???? ??? ???? ???? ??????? ???? ??? ??? ????? ???? ?? ???? ??? ??? ???? ?? ????? ????? ???? ??? ???? ???? ????? ??? ???? ???? ?????? ????? ??? ???? ???? ????? ?? ????? ???? ?? ??? ????? ?????? ??? ???? ?? ?????? ????? ???? ?????? ????? ??? ??? ?????? ????? ????? ??? ???? ????

    #861244
    147
    Participant

    I keep 2 items inside my actual Tefillin bag:- a mirror, and my business card [Hopefully my Tefillin shall never be lost, but if this ever happens a business card could make all the difference].

    By the way I have 2 pairs of Tefillin:- 1 in Shul, and 1 at home, and both Tefillin bags are graced with a mirror & a business card.

    #861245
    RABBAIM
    Participant

    Staring and preening in front of a mirror is not permissible. Checking to see one looks neat clean and respectable can even be a possible Kiddush Hashem.

    #861246
    yitayningwut
    Participant

    Staring and preening in front of a mirror is not permissible.

    Incorrect. See above.

    #861247
    Sam2
    Participant

    147: That might have a separate issue. If your Tefillin bag is Meyuchad for Tefillin then it becomes Tashmishei Kedushah and you shouldn’t use it to carry a mirror (or business card). What is probably proper is to have a second plastic bag around your Tefillin bag in which to put the mirror and card.

    #861248
    Shticky Guy
    Participant

    One must look respectable at all times. There is definitely an inyan brought in kaballah (dont know source) of not allowing an image of ones self as it ‘peels away from one’s neshama’. This refers to any picture, photograph etc generally, and also not to see yourself with tefillin on even by reflection (window, mirror etc).

    With whats going on around us nowadays, it is really important for both spouses to look attractive to each other, not only the wives but the husbands too.

    #861249
    gefen
    Participant

    Once when my husband was using his mirror to make sure his tefilin were on right, someone in the shul came over to him and really gave it to him! He embarrassed him in public, yelling at him for using a mirror. My husband didn’t answer (I think he was too shocked). I was so upset when I heard this. What a chutzpah! It’s better to yell at and embarrass someone than to use a mirror?

    #861250

    I cannot tie a tie properly without looking in a mirror

    #861251
    R.T.
    Participant

    147 – If you want to keep a mirror & card with your tefillin, may I humbly suggest you buy a plastic bag for your velvet tefillin zekel. You can put the mirror & card between the plastic and the velvet bag. This way, you can be sure that the tefillin (velvet) bag holds only tefillin as it is a d’var bekdusha. The poskim warn against keeping extraneous things with the tefillin inside the velvet bag. The halacha goes so far as to say that Rash”i tefillin can not be kept in Rabbenu Tam tefillin bag (& vice versa) once designation has been set.

    #861252
    squeak
    Participant

    And I cannot do safrus without a stencil. What’s your point, Ralph?

    #861253
    yitayningwut
    Participant

    gefen – Yeah, that was totally wrong of the person.

    #861254
    sushee
    Member

    What about putting the mirror in the talis bag rather than in the tefilin bag (which itself is in the talis bag)?

    #861255
    Sam2
    Participant

    Sushe: That is fine since a Tallis bag is a Tashish D’tashmishei Mitzvah, which probably has no Inyan not to use for Chol anyway, and even if it does the Tefillin mirror (and possibly the business card as well if it’s only purpose is to ensure that the Tefillin can be returned if lost) is a Tashmish Mitzvah anyway.

    #861256
    oomis
    Participant

    It would seem to me more to be that men just should not be vain, or imitate darchei nashim, who ARE accustomed to beautifying themselves while looking for more than a moment in the mirror. But if he is using it for purposes related to his own mitzvah – why not? And otherwise, why should a man not momentarily check his reflection to make sure that he is well-groomed before going out of the house. A talmid chochom is not supposed to be slovenly, and it just takes a second to check.

    #861257
    rabbiofberlin
    Participant

    sushe- great advice. A talis is not ‘tashmishei kedusha’ but only ‘tashmishei mitzvah’ and does not have the same kedusha as tefillin.

    #861258
    R.T.
    Participant

    sam2, rabbiofberlin — That is correct. A tallis is a tashmishei shel mitzvah and therefore a tallis bag *could* be used to keep a mirror, business card, siddur, printed chumash, tzedaka money (weekdays!)

    A side note — While tefillin has extremely high level of kedusha, it should be noted that even the Tefilla shel yad has lesser kedusha than the Tefilla shel rosh and therefore, there are guidelines about how they should be stored in tefillin bags, aside from the issue of which tefilla should come out first during the donning proccess.

    Back to the mirrors issue — Every shul (frum of course) that I have been to has mirrors in the men’s washroom. I seriously doubt they are been used to check tefillin!

    #861259
    bpt
    Participant

    As a rule, I try not to look at mirrors. Seeing what I really look like (as opposed to what I THINK I look like) has a tendency to depress me.

    In my mind’s eye, I’m this super-agressive, highly accomplished, cool-dude Flatbush Dad.

    In reality, I’m an easily manipulated, unremarkable, middle-aged BP totty.

    Lower case t, to boot :/

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