Recall

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  • #599802
    Cutie
    Member

    Regardless of make or year, all

    units known as “human beings”

    are being

    recalled by the Manufacturer.

    This is due to a malfunction in

    the original

    prototype units code named

    “Adam” and “Eve” resulting in the

    reproduction of

    the same defect in all subsequent

    units. This defect is technically

    termed,

    “Serious Internal Non-morality,”

    but more commonly known as

    “SIN”. The

    defect is categorized as “critical”.

    Some of the symptoms of the SIN

    defect:

    [a] Loss of direction

    Lack of peace and joy

    [c] Depression

    [d] Foul vocal emissions

    [e] Selfishness

    [f] Ingratitude

    [g] Fearfulness

    [h] Rebellion

    Jealousy

    The Manufacturer is providing

    factory authorized repair service

    free of

    charge to correct the SIN defect.

    The Repair Technician, Hashem,

    has most gen erously offered to

    bear the

    entire burden of the staggering

    cost of these repairs. To repeat,

    there is

    no fee required.

    The number to call in for repair

    in all areas is: PRAYER.

    Once connected, please upload

    the burden of SIN through the

    REPENTANCE

    procedure. Next, download

    ATONEMENT from the Repair

    Technician, Hashem,

    into the heart component of the

    human unit.. No matter how big

    or small the

    SIN defect is, Hashem will replace

    the SIN and present “obsession”

    on: din,

    uncertainty, debating, and

    memorizing countless minute

    details with:

    [a] Love

    Joy

    [c] Peace

    [d] Kindness

    [e] Goodness

    [f] Faithfulness

    [g] Gentleness

    [h] Patience

    Self-control

    Please see the user manual,

    TORAH, for further details on the

    use of these

    fixes. In particular all repaired

    units are referred to parsha

    Eikev,

    specifically where Moshe asks his

    simple question of the Jewish

    people and

    the gives his own 6 ( really 10 )

    sh ort and simple answers. As an

    added

    upgrade, the Manufacturer has

    made available to all repaired

    units a

    facility enabling direct

    monitoring and assistance from

    the resident

    Maintenance Technician, Hashem.

    Repaired units need only make

    Him welcome

    and He will take up residence

    with the repaired units.

    WARNING: Continuing to operate

    a human being unit without

    corrections voids

    the Manufacturer’s warranty,

    exposes the unit to dangers and

    problems too

    numerous to list.

    Thank you for your immediate

    attention.

    Please assist by notifying others

    of this important recall notice.

    Gemar Chasima Toiva

    #814735
    mak
    Member

    The real scary thing is that Hashem “recalls” everything.

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