Home › Forums › Shidduchim › Shadchanim and shidduchim in general
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June 15, 2014 9:13 pm at 9:13 pm #613018bentzionParticipant
First of all does anybody have a good list of the shaddchanim (heimish-chassidish type!). Second of all what does YWN members think the right time and/or age is correct to start shidduchim. And what do you propose I should do if I would like to get engaged but my mother and/or father are not so enthusiastic about the idea and think that maybe I should wait awhile.
June 15, 2014 10:04 pm at 10:04 pm #1019899popa_bar_abbaParticipantYou should wait a while.
Notice how you said you are ready to “get engaged” instead of being ready to “get married.”
June 15, 2014 10:16 pm at 10:16 pm #1019900☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantBeing ready to “get married” is no kuntz either. One needs to be able to handle being married, not just getting married. (There’s another clue, though, that popa’s right anyhow.)
June 16, 2014 5:57 pm at 5:57 pm #1019901bentzionParticipantdear pop_bar_abba I didn’t mean “get engaged” instead of “get married” I meant that ii feel ready to “GET MARRIED”!!!!
June 16, 2014 7:42 pm at 7:42 pm #1019902walton157Member@bentzion: You don’t mention how old you are. If your parents are Chasidic or you opt to take upon yourself a chsidishe life.
If you are living in your parent’s home then you are obligated to listen to them. If you are living on your own and supporting yourself then you can do what you like.
Just the fact that you have to ask strangers what you should do indicates that you are not mature enough to take such a big step.
Marriage is not a game. It’s sometimes very complicated and stressful. Marriage is for individuals who are not living in an idealistic, fantasty world. The honeymoon ends very, very quickly and reality hits very, very hard.
The house has to be cleaned, bills paid, laundry done and all the little things that life throws at us.
No room to be selfish and petty. There is a lot of negotiating day in and day out.
Once the babies start coming it’s even more stressful, especially if the wife works and the husband sits all day and learns. Ever see the price of a box/pack/bottle of diapers, baby formuala and wipes? Start mortaging your home.
Think twice, three times before you start something you can’t finish.
Much hatzlacha and may you find your zivug in the right time.
June 16, 2014 10:03 pm at 10:03 pm #1019903Torah613TorahParticipantYou don’t have enough posts on YWN to get married yet. You need to work on that first.
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