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what do you do when theres someone whos older and desperate to get married, but has parents that are super picky, and lets them control her choices?
Can you please make this a multiple choice question?
Please define “older.”
And what do you mean she “lets them control her choices”?
Are you talking about yourself? A friend? An acquaintance?
Are you mirroronthewall talking about someone who is financially dependent on her parents? or someone who is on her won financial feet?
the single should pick new parents, then look for a partner in life.
tell her 2 tell the shadchans that shes the one getting married and they shud speak 2 her directly abt any boys on the radar and not her parents.. a lot of older girls do this..
I would say such a person is indeed not ready to get married.
@mirroronthewall: It’s not a shidduch crisis it’s YOUR crisis. Get a job, get a roommate and move out. Then you will be called a woman instead of a “girl”. You will then be able to meet eligible men instead of “boys”.
You mind your own blazed business.
(Still drunk)
APY +1
What is your relationship to said person, purplicious?
*mirroronthe wall, sorry
If indeed she is older (over thirty, for argument’s sake), and her parents are actually counterproductive to her meeting the right person for her, then she is old enough to go to the shadchanim herself and not involve her parents until it is really shayach to do so. it is sad, but there ARE parents who sabotage their children’s efforts to get married, often unconsciously, but sometimes not so unconsciously.
the single should pick new parents, then look for a partner in life.
I didn’t know you could pick your own parents. You learn something new every day.
The OP’s question was what to do about someone who lets her parents control the situation. The question begs explanation; who is doing the asking, and in what way is it possible to influence the young woman or the parents. Without more info, it seems futile to try to advise.
It could totally be that the shiduchim are not working out because her parents are controlling. (Controlling parents are a red flag.) So when her parents do back off it will be wayyy easier to find someone.
It is hard to do anything about controlling parents when the boy or girl is young. But once a girl (especially) has reached “that age,” she needs to ask her self if she wants Mommy and Daddy to make all her decisions for her forever, or if she is ready to be an adult. A parent who is controlling the lives of his/her adult children, does them no chessed.
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