Shidduch Segullah!

Home Forums Shidduchim Shidduch Segullah!

Viewing 50 posts - 51 through 100 (of 400 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #1150423

    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    ames: wow thank you for the blessing!!! AMEN!!

    kiruvwife: thanx u too!!! AMEN!!!

    moish: you are a tzddik nistar like joe says!!! wow!!!

    #1150424

    JustAGirl
    Member

    puh-leez.

    People have come to rely on segulot and that is not how we are supposed to be.

    I also disagree with the people just say, “daven..” obviously!! We all daven. Sometimes it feels like that’s not enough.

    I did TWO cycles of the shmiras halashon and i am still single…so tell me it “wasn’t my time,” so tell the same to pushutayid.

    We can try what we want. Hashem is the one in charge. Hishtadlus obviously is important, too, but I don’t want to broach the bechira argument…

    #1150426

    noitallmr
    Participant

    asdfghjkl- A Bracha that one really means usually is Mekuyim…all the best!

    #1150427

    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    noitallmr: thank you so much!!! all the best to you as well!!!

    #1150428

    Can I also get a beracha too pleeeeaaassseee???

    #1150429

    moish01
    Member

    ames, rabbi of what??

    asdfghjkl, yeah nistar.

    you people are really funny. where do you come up with these strange ideas??

    #1150430

    tzippi
    Member

    In last week’s Yated (the one that came out ten days ago) there was an article in the center section, the regular shidduch column that linked Shabbos with shidduchim.

    #1150431

    anonymisss
    Participant

    If you look up the source of mitoch shelo lishma, you will find that it only works if your intention is to become lishma. It’s not supposed to be bogus. If your intention is only to help yourself, then, yes, like moish said, you’re a fake and it won’t work. You can start doing it for other reasons, as long as your intention is to do it for the other person’s sake not just to get what you want. It’s like an incentive.

    ~a~

    #1150432

    ChanieE
    Participant
    #1150433

    BasYisroel2
    Participant

    ames my friend-Amen! Thank you for your beautiful bracha!

    I have a question for everyone in the coffee room with the concept of davening for one’s friend.I daven for my friend first and then I daven for myself is that the wrong thing to do?Someone told me that you are only suppose to daven for the other person, however I feel that I still need to daven for myself.

    I am worried that I may be a bit selfish that I might have more kavana when I am davening for myself then when for my friend.

    I have to be honest that one of the reasons that I am davening for myis friend because I want to get shidduch also .However even if I was married I would still daven for my friend. However if I was married I would daven for her just for the sake of her without any ulterior feelings of if i daven for her then Hashem will listen to my Tefilos .

    Am I doing the wrong thing, I am worried that my reasoning for davening for my friends is not 100% purley for the sake of them.

    Although I daven for people who don’t have children, parnasa without expecting to get anything from it except to help another yid.

    #1150434

    oomis
    Participant

    oomis, if you’re doing it so that you’ll be answered, i doubt it will “work.” i’m sure hashem can see through that.

    It does not matter that you are doing it so you will be answered. You are still davening sincerely for the other person. The reward for that is that Hashem answers you first when you are in need of the same bracha. You think you can pull some spiritual wool kivyachol over G-d’s eyes???? NAH!

    Ames, I loved your bracha.

    Every time I hear of a friend’s child becoming a chosson or kallah, I am emesdig happy for them all. Y.es, I have two daughters who have not yet been zochos to meet their zivugim, but whether or not that happens soon (and I truly pray that it does), it does not take away from another person’s simcha. I daven for my friends’ daughters, and some have gotten married in the past year or two. I hope to see the same thing happen in my family, but I will never be unhappy to hear someone else is happy.

    #1150435

    AL2
    Participant

    Thanks again everyone for the Berachos. It’s very encouraging. I happen to not rely on ANY segulos. Been there done that. I just work on my connection to Hashem. I feel much closer to Him now than when I was doing a Segula.

    Also, in regard to Davening for someone else in the event that I should get answered first, I asked my Rav about it and he told me not to concentrate on that and just Daven for myself and other people because I am not at the level to Daven only for another person putting myself aside. I felt fake when I was doing it only for another person because deep down I knew it wasn’t wholehearted. Everyone has to know themselves.

    #1150436

    I’m very insulted no one gave me a beracha, thank you guys

    🙁

    #1150437

    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    syriansephardi: ames’s Bracha was to the whole cr(you included)!!!

    #1150438

    moish01
    Member

    ames, that wasn’t my point. my point was that the passuk uses one’s self as the basis. it doesn’t say “love for your friend what you love for hashem” or “for the torah” or any other person or thing. shows how much one really loves himself. that’s all i was trying to say.

    #1150439

    BasYisroel2
    Participant

    Can someone please answer me if I am doing the wrong thing-look at my post above-

    Thanks!

    #1150440

    by2-i dont tihnk u are doing a/t wrong….is your friend davening for u? maybe it will be easier if u both say ok we are going to daven for each other…or maybe by shachris daven for your friend and by mincha daven for yourself

    #1150441

    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    BasYisroel2: i don’t see anything wrong with doing it like that!!!

    #1150442

    BasYisroel2
    Participant

    ames & coke not pepsi-Thanks!

    coke not pepsi-That is a very good idea for me to try and focus one tefillah on my friend and another tefillah on myself!

    #1150443

    anonymisss
    Participant

    I agree with moish. I think the point is that every person loves him/herself the most and should strive to have a similar love for others.

    ~a~

    #1150444

    kapusta
    Participant

    syrian you were included in ames bracha and in mine too. and if you want a specific one I wish that at the right time your zivug should come and you be zoche to build a bayis neeman b’yisrael!

    just a girl firstly dont be so cynical, I cant imagine its helping (dont take that the wrong way) and secondly, the shmiras halashon, I’ll repeat to what I told areivim, shmiras halashon is good as a segula or not, it may have brought your zivug closer, and it may have not, but I’m sure it didnt hurt you. May you be zoche to meet your zivug at the right time and build a bayis neeman b’yisrael

    #1150445

    Kapusta: thank you, amen!

    #1150446

    anonymisss
    Participant

    Umm… I think that’s what he said, or at least what it sounded like he meant to say. Moish? Is that right?

    ~a~

    #1150447

    moish01
    Member

    well i never actually said the second half but i do agree with it. i think ames missed my point, though.

    #1150448

    chunchie
    Member

    when i hear of a friends simcha i am happy for them but i don;t really feel their happiness!.. what could i do to achieve REAL happiness for them?

    #1150449

    anonymisss
    Participant

    That’s what I understood from your post, moish. Did you mean to say that people are naturally selfish, hence the passuk ve’ahavta…komocha, and that’s why when they daven for others with a similar need, it’s often insincere? Was that your point?

    ~a~

    #1150450

    moish01
    Member

    yeah that’s much better, anonymisss.

    #1150451

    anonymisss
    Participant

    got it, moish. that’s settled

    ~a~

    #1150452

    oomis
    Participant

    Of course one should daven for himself or herself in ADDITION to davening for others. There is nothing selfish about that, and we do say, “Imm ain ani li, mi li?” Hashem doesn’t view us as self-centered for having our own bakashos pertaining specifically to ourselves. It becomes a negative when we are ONLY for ourselves and don’t think of others.

    #1150453

    anonymisss
    Participant

    oomis, agree, 100%! People should deff daven for others in addition to davening for themselves. People should not daven for others with the intention of getting what they themselves want/need.

    ~a~

    #1150454

    myshadow
    Member

    shkoyach for the brachos!!

    #1150455

    squeak
    Participant

    ames, kapusta, you are mistaken. I assure you that I have not taken on a different sn to be sneaky. My posts will continue to go up as “squeak” when they go up. I have had different screen names in the past, but that was before either of you were around (oy, I remember when you two were that small, I wish I had pictures). In any case, I changed screen names because I forgot my passwords, not because I wanted to sneak around (I’m squeak, not sneak). That’s what comes from getting older, but it’s better than the alternative!

    The only exception to that was when areivim stated that he could spot a squeakish post under a different name. So I posted something about enjoying a fifth anytime (someone was complaining about getting a fifth of bagel, ahem Mr. know it all) but no one caught it; not even the detective areivim who posted right after me. Maybe no one gets it; but most likely is that you don’t normally grasp squeakish humor unless you know to look for it.

    Anyway, that was a one timer. I don’t need to hide my fake identity.

    #1150456

    Joseph
    Participant

    squeak,

    That was gleegish humor.

    It appears that sn was created expressly for the purpose of politely critiquing a wise man in riddles:

    The Riddle Thread….

    The “other”:

    http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/married-couple-dates#post-43517

    #1150457

    chunchie
    Member

    any suggestions to make my self REALLY happy for a friends Simchas?

    #1150458

    beacon
    Participant

    any suggestions to make my self REALLY happy for a friends Simchas?

    Yes- imagine yourself in your friends position. Think of the happiness, the excitement,etc… This might help you.

    #1150459

    qwertyuiop
    Member

    joseph: that was great, are you by any chance a detective, if not you seem like you would b a good one.$

    #1150460

    Joseph
    Participant

    qwerty, I wish I could answer you, but the rules of the road, er CR, do not allow me to answer personal questions.

    Sherlock

    #1150461

    Jothar
    Member

    Chunchie, I wish I could answer you. As someone who got married later, I tried, and failed, to be happy for my friends, or even for younger siblings who got married or engaged before me. I was able to be happy for older guys who got married. I will tell you that once I was married, I was able to be happy for them retroactively. If you’re a bachur, I would recommend a small amount of shnapps (NOT a whole bottle) to enable you to focus on your friends instead of yourself at their wedding. It also enables you to ignore the daggers of “im yirtzah Hashem by you” that people so careless toss in your direction. It could be you can try thinking to yourself, “If I was married would I be happy for them?” But again, I have no claim of success here. Hatzlacha rabba.

    #1150462

    baal kishron
    Participant

    Not to make light of the situation and i know that people just dont realize how much damage they are doing by saying the casual iy”h by you with the big fake smile but i saw this joke once and it really made my day so i thought id share it

    as a young man at every wedding i would attend all the old aunts and uncles and various other annoying relatives would come over and tell me oh your next i cant wait it should happen soon etc etc so naturally i wanted them all to stop so at the next funeral i went over to all those older relatives and said OH your next!!! 🙂

    #1150463

    There is a segulah to hang a picture of a fish on your front door the entire chodesh Adar. This is because the mazal of Adar is Dagim and we hope to have the brocha that we should be zoche to reproduce like fish (among other reasons).It does not have to be an actual photograph of the big one that almost got away but any poster that decipts fish should work. I know quite a few people for whom this worked,(my sister and myself included).

    I’m sure some will dismiss this as fishy but those in the parsha who are willing to try it, it certainly can’t hurt. If you do get engaged please pass it around so that others can be zoche to find their proper zivug.

    #1150464

    areivim,

    we SHOULD have caught that gleegish comment about the fifth of a bagel. It was indeed very squeakish.

    #1150465

    Ok. so I am a few posts behind.

    But I noticed a lot of discussion about whether or not davening for someone else will “work” if you really have in mind for yourself to be answered, or whether a person should daven for themselves before/ after davening for a friend.

    I have one recommendation:

    Daven to Hashem with all your heart. Daven for yourslef. Daven for your friend. Dont worry about the order , don’t worry about the intentions.

    Just Daven with heart felt emotions. Show Hashem your pain. Work on building a relationship with Hashem. Work on understanding that your Yeshua can only come from Him.

    Did you ever see a little kid fall on the side walk and hurt themselves? Did you watch the way they cry to a parent? They don’t worry about what they are supposed to say, in what order. They just cry. They express their pain completely without holding anything back.

    You are all children of Hashem in pain!

    Daven to Him like a child to a father! Don’t hold back anything!

    I really believe that this is how davening should be! So how do you understand Kol Hamispalel bead chavero.. ? I don’t think its an inyan limited to tefila. I think what its referring to is that you should feel the other persons pain. Not just daven for them, but feel their pain , a whole day, ever day. Then when you daven and you pour your heart out to Hashem, you will automatically daven for them.

    Therefor, I beeve if someone is trying to reach thelevel of Kol Hamispalel… they should work on this in the context of feeling another persons pain. Not necessarily in the context of tefila, but , in the context of life.

    However, if one is strictly looking to work on their tefila, I believe the key lies in what I mentioned before.

    #1150466

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    very nice- thank you

    #1150467

    anonymisss
    Participant

    balkishron, that is perfectly awful!

    syaglechochma, beautiful!

    ~a~

    #1150468

    asdfghjkl
    Participant

    Syag Lechochma: nice!!!

    #1150469

    Jothar-

    Hi.

    It also enables you to ignore the daggers of “im yirtzah Hashem by you” that people so careless toss in your direction.

    “Im yirtzah H-shem by you”, “May you and your family also be zoche to simchos” and similar statements are not casual, careless, unthinking, or flippant remarks. They are sincere brachos, wishing the one(s) they are directed at success in finding a zivug, becoming a parent, marrying off a child and so on. We have a family friend who has been looking for a shidduch for a while who we actually discussed this with at a Shabbos seuda once. My wife and I both weren’t sure if “IY”H by you too” and the like might be hurtful (especially to one who had been “in the parsha” for a while) and would be better left unsaid. The response was, “No, of course say it. It’s a brocha, and who wouldn’t want a brocha?” Obviously, if you know a person who would find this hurtful, you should be sensitive enough not to do so to them (or anything else that may cause them pain).

    baal kishron-

    Hi.

    I know it’s a joke, but still it’s a pretty strong “shtruf”.

    Why is it worse than the old expression “Ir zult vaxen vi a tzibileh – mit di kup in drerd”? I’m not sure it is, but I’m just saying how it struck me.

    #1150470

    kiruvwife
    Member

    syag lachochma-very well said.

    Maybe you can post on the other thread that talks about how to really feel someone’s happiness. (I think it’s on a different one-not 100% sure)

    #1150471

    baal kishron
    Participant

    Anonymiss: while i definately agree that it would be a horrible thing to do it would get the point across no??? 🙂

    #1150472

    Jothar
    Member

    I can only try, I know it’s a sincere bracha. but when you’re at someone’s wedding and trying to focus on the simcha instead of on yourself, each mention of it is a reminder that you’re still single. If you have never been in that situation you can’t understand. Some people were sincere, many just said it to be polite. Trust me, the bracha would be more appreciated by many singles if it was said silently. I’m sure childless couples at brisos feel the same way.

    #1150473

    anonymisss
    Participant

    baal kishron, yup, 100% get the point across. Still disgusting.

    ~a~

Viewing 50 posts - 51 through 100 (of 400 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.


Trending