Shidduchim: SEE: “Dating Parents Or Girls?”

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  • July 28, 2009 2:58 pm at 2:58 pm #590108
    old maidle
    Member

    Im not sure if others feel this way but ever since i entered the shidduch scene it has bothered me how the focus of sympathy, frustration, anxiety, etc is on the PARENTS!! I feel like people are so worried about the parents of kids on the market than the actual people going thru the nisayon themselves!! Why are my parents constantly the ones at need for support and guidance and sympathy while i stand at the side with a smile plastered to my face as if everything is just dandy? Why are my parents always the ones screaming at me how all my friends are married and im still single because of a whole list of problems with me they can come up with? How come they dont realize I am the one going thru it, with MY friends getting married and having kids etc, and that its MY pain more than thiers?? Why does everything have to be blamed on me? Why cant the time just not be right yet? Why do people always have to come up with reasons for people still being single? Is that just an easy way out? Are we big believers or just in denial?

    Why cant people see their kids suffering instead of seeing it as their own pain? Its not always our fault- it hurts us too!

    July 28, 2009 4:12 pm at 4:12 pm #651715
    smalltowngirl
    Member

    Oh you are so right my dear.

    I wish you only clarity in life with Bracha and simcha.

    Know that just as you need others to acknowledge your – pain your parents have pain as well. I’m sorry that your pain has not been validated. And just as all that is “good” comes from Hashem all that is seemingly “bad” comes from Hashem too.

    If we only knew His plan…

    Stay focused dear, may you be Blessed to find your bashert soon!

    July 28, 2009 4:21 pm at 4:21 pm #651716
    working
    Member

    I totally sympathize in the pain you are going thru. Hashem should help that you should find your bashert soon. I personally know someone that was also single for quite a while and everyone kept on telling her that shes crazy and that she will stay single… she is to picky… her parents- everybody. I had such rachmanus for her. Lemaiseh she is married today. Its hard. I personally think that it would help a lot if someone would open a hotline something like eitzah just for singles going thru this parsha to help ease the burden a little bit.

    July 28, 2009 4:34 pm at 4:34 pm #651717
    old maidle
    Member

    Thank you! it is not the sympathy us singles need but rather understanding. we are not defected if we do not get married right away! there is nothing wrong with us!! We are not too picky or too crazy or anything!! Just like Hashem planned for one person to get married at 19, He planned for another to get married at 25! We are equal!! Were just waiting for the right one!! shidduchim are like krias yam suf..thats pretty hard!!!

    July 28, 2009 4:36 pm at 4:36 pm #651718
    old maidle
    Member

    And i TOTALLY sympathize with my parents. They have it way harder then i do! im so content and happy ith life i no im waiting for s.t worthwhile..but my parents are just watching their kid get older, alone. For them that pain runs way deeper!

    July 28, 2009 5:05 pm at 5:05 pm #651719
    YW Moderator-72
    Participant

    Please continue the dialogue in the following link:

    Dating: Parents or Girl?

    Thank you.

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