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If you’re girl, with a smallish family, who lives outside NY.
Start with your relatives, married friends and community Shadchanim, and ask them to think for you. The better people know you, the more they’ll want to put the effort in and the easier it will be for them to describe you to others.
maybe CR should have a shadchan blog
I suggest skywriting.
while you’re at it, why don’t you just take out an ad in the classifieds of the yated, or any other popular jewish newspaper, that will definitely get your name out there…
IDKyet: Why be mean
put your shidduch resume up on all the shuls in NY
Goto shul and weddings with your mom, so that people are aware that you exist, and that you are her daughter. (smile a lot)
Contact your seminary teachers, and ask them for help.
Get involved with chesed/organizations/shiurim – the more people you network with, the more you increase your visibility.
Stay upbeat and positive- a warm happy demeanor is very attractive. Remember that you can capitalize at this time by Davening with a special ‘extra’ feeling, as you feel the challenge of finding that proverbial ‘needle in a haystack’. b’Hatzlocha!!!!
Commit a felony. Nothing grabs headlines and gets you respect like a perp walk.
That, or hire a press secretary. Your name / photo will be in the community pages like you’re a seasoned askan or gevir (gevir-ette).
OK, enough jokes. The way I would do it is by getting your self out in the public eye. Go to shul on Shabbos (not just Shabbos mevorchim / Tomtov), take a niece / nephew / neighbor’s kid to the park, dr. office, pick up from school (and not by doubleparking and honking… get there 10 minutes early and make small talk with the other people on foot)
If you’re a bochur, daven in ONE SHUL, and with your family if possible. Let people see you and they will ask about you.
knock on doors and hand out ur resume
Can I extend the question to include for divorced women? If you don’t have enough names of people who do Shidduchim for 2nd time arounders or even if they do, but, they just never seem to have anything to offer for you. And, if you’re the type of person who doesn’t feel comfortable going to a singles event, so then what else can one do for themselves-how do you get your name out there?
I’ve already asked my friends to ask their husbands if they knew of anyone-but that didn’t seem to get me anywhere. I’ve made many phone call to shaddchanim & by now some of them fizzled out. They don’t do it anymore. Anyone w/ any advice or some good insight into this matter? If anyone is willing to post names of Shaddchanim who do shidduchim for 2nd timers, it would be so appreciative & helpful to those of us divorced women who can use such help in this matter.
Thanks in advance.
I still think the best strategy is to get yourself out in the public eye, and let people see you for what you really are. Make sure you stay in an envoirnment (shul, tehillim group, ect) that will allow people to follow up on you, and you should see results within 3 months.
as stated above, speak to your relatives, teachers, and tell them to pass the word around. hatzlocha.
When a girl or boy has been in Shidduchim for a while, they often get a shem from others, like:
quiet,
dumb,
selfish,
materialistic,
boring,
loud,
no common sense,
not serious to get married,
no personality,
no sense of humor,
too choosy,
thinks they’re it,
nebby,
weird, etc.
and that unfortunately lessens their chances of getting people to work for them.
I heard that there was a Shiur lately discussing this issue.
The wagging tongues offering these descriptions kill!
volunteer at various functions. chinese auctions , meetings, etc.
Just change your name to “the best bucher in lakewood” and you’ll be mentioned constantly.
“best bucher in lakewood”?
You must mean, best bucher in Willy or BP. Lakewood’s best is a bOcher
Unless you meant to write best “butcher” in lakewood, in which case, we can start the negotations right now.
So, MyThoughs.. are we talking tachles?
Can I revive this topic?
whats the best suggestion for someone in Toronto to get more ideas
Contact a shadchan and tell him/her what you’re looking for. Also, people try to suggest shidduchim to other people. So someone might suggest a shiddduch to you. Hatzlacha Rabba.
Daven
not that it helps us being in the cr, but from your short description in the other thread, i immd thought of a lady in the right age/stage… Call shadchanim, both from Toronto and not. There are many lists online, and some that specify if certain shadchanim focus on a particular group. Anyone out there have that website from the weekly shadchan list in the Mishpacha magazine? (or was it hamodia?)?
jwed
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