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Health
You are such an angry person, not just in this post, but in others. You speak with an insulting tone in your posts, and it would be my suggestion that the mods reconsider allowing you to post further.
mommamia22 – And I would suggest to the Mods not to let you post anymore considering you find no problem if a Yeshiva rejects a student and thereby causes that student to end up in P.S.
I would call your Hashkafos very far removed from Torah Yiddishkeit!
Health: I understand you’re defensive. But maybe tone it down a bit. Not every post (even those critical of people) is a personal attack. You seem to take them as such and it leads to a lot of arguments here. Maybe just be willing to accept that others will have different opinions that may seem critical of you or those you are close to. It’s never meant to be personal here.
Sam 2 -You might have a point in other topics, but here she posted a reply directed at me. Her basic contention was it’s no biggie if a kid is forced to go to Public School.
I always held this as an Aveira Chamurah and now that I’m personally involved -it takes on a new dimension. Hence -the very strong and emotional reply!
Perception is not only in the way we perceive someone writes but it is also in the way we “read”. When we read a post it is sometimes us who reads the post in a manner assuming that it sounds angry while in fact the poster did NOT write in anger. In many cases it is the reader judging the writer’s tone because of the way the reader perceives the post and not necessarily the way the writer wrote it.
Perception is always in the eyes of the beholder, which may cause a lot of miscommunication. When you read a post that sounds angry and you shoot off another post angrily in response you set off a war of words. This happens because one assumes that the other’s tone is angry or attacking, when in fact the other can simply be telling the facts of the situation and the reader is just reading it with their own emotions and getting a strong feeling about it.
This has happened so many times here on various subjects that are sensitive to different people. Obviously this is a very touchy subject for Health because it is something that hurt him deeply. There certainly is no reason to keep twisting the knife or pry for more details. You are getting into a war of words that is escalating for no reason at all because you are analyzing someone based on the way you perceived a post was written which is nonsense and totally out of line.
Personally I feel that apologies are warranted full circle and the mods should shut this post down because it is going nowhere fast.
I don’t think it’s no big deal that a kid winds up in public school. I think it is a yeshivas responsibility to do all that is in their power to help a child find appropriate placement, if they deem their school a poor fit. I’m sorry for the grief you’ve been through. This is not a personal attack. Please don’t attack me for having a difference of opinion, either.
aries2756 wrote: There certainly is no reason to keep twisting the knife or pry for more details. You are getting into a war of words that is escalating for no reason at all because you are analyzing someone based on the way you perceived a post was written
Such brilliant words! I couldnt have said it better!
Nobody pried for details. A poster was berated for not taking the unspoken details in consideration. Aries first paragraph was dead on, but she was talking to the wrong party.In this instance, there was not alot of inferrence to be made. It was pretty clear who was being insulted and for what. I think mommamia, Sam and Feif were pretty kind and cool headed in their polite plea for returned kindness.
mommamia22 -“I think it is a yeshivas responsibility to do all that is in their power to help a child find appropriate placement, if they deem their school a poor fit.”
Now what happens if they can’t find the child somewhere else or they don’t feel like looking for a place for him/her, can they now let the kid go to P.S. or do they have to accept the kid?
Syag Lchochma – Really? Perhaps you should reread their posts? Some things they said I wouldn’t exactly call “pretty kind and cool headed”! But people read what they want to read.
And the irony is you call yourself “Syag Lchochma” and the last part is Shtika. Coming here and berating me, esp. since you weren’t personally involved, is Not practicing what you preach!
Health – you may want to research the meaning of berate. And there is no irony to my screen name. I think very carefully before I post and have walked away from your hurtful comments so many times. If you think asking someone to be kind to you is berating, than I feel sorry for you. And since I am obviously not alone in this, it might be worthwhile trying to understand why so many posters are feeling hurt and insulted when you have no intent of being hurtful. I have tried before to ask you not to speak so harshly and you always come back with painful personal attacks. I only risk it again at this time because I feel that you really, honestly,and truly do not realize how you come across. And honestly, I am in so much personal pain right now anyway, I don’t have the energy to not defend myself, and don’t think you could make me feel worse if you tried.
this is why boy schools shouldn’t have female teachers
Syag Lchochma -“and have walked away from your hurtful comments so many times.”
So you come here to this post to put me down because you are angry at me from before and decide to take revenge. Do you think there is something wrong with bearing a grudge?
“And honestly, I am in so much personal pain right now anyway, I don’t have the energy to not defend myself, and don’t think you could make me feel worse if you tried.”
What makes you think that I would want to do that? You’re the one that came here and decided -now’s my chance to put him down by telling e/o Aries is wrong for standing up for me!
“I think very carefully before I post”
I honestly don’t think you thought very carefully before coming to this topic and telling me off. What did you gain besides fufilling some desire to get revenge on me by posting what you did?
@Feif Un – AMEN!!!
Health: I honestly think you’re not intending on being hurtful here. But you are to some people. Maybe just step back for a minute, maybe have a friend read your posts or something, and see what he thinks of them and maybe you can see why some people are getting upset at you here. No one is trying to make this personal. They’re really not. I think many people just feel that your responses are too sharp and harsh sometimes.
Health, reading your posts I wholeheartedly sympathise with you.
I actually think all of us who bother to read and share our opinions on the CR would be the sort of people who would support your sense of outrage and be indignant with any religious Jewish organisation that did not help a young Jew to find a caring environment in which to learn and flourish, part of our religious belief lies in supporting one another, especially our children.
None of us know the future, but nothing in life is set in stone, really hope someway this situation can be resolved soon. Wishing you well.
Unfortunately there are many frum kids in Public School because parents can’t afford Yeshiva tuition and they had to make that decision to survive. It is very sad but that is the unhappy truth. Kids are thrown out of yeshivas if the parents don’t pay tuition and there are no alternatives, kids have to go to school.
B”H in my community the Rabbonim really work hard together to try and make sure that every kid is in one of the yeshivas. It is a daunting task and a community effort. But it doesn’t always work. People always ask why are tuitions so high, it can’t possibly cost that much to educate a child. It doesn’t. Those who pay full tuition are paying for their child and a padding to cover expenses for scholarships for others. It is a formula worked out for these purposes.
Actually I sort of sympathize with Health, however I also know people who were rejected and kicked out of more Charedi Schools.
And i suspect the more charedi school reject even more students than the MO.
tahini – Thank you for your kind words. It seems you are one of the few that has anything nice to say to me.
aries2756 -“Unfortunately there are many frum kids in Public School because parents can’t afford Yeshiva tuition and they had to make that decision to survive. It is very sad but that is the unhappy truth.”
Really many? I think it probably is a few. I don’t think most schools are this evil. I do know parents whom opted to home school because they felt they couldn’t afford the tuition, but not Public school.
zahavasdad -“And i suspect the more charedi school reject even more students than the MO.”
And even if this were the case, did these kids end up in P.S. or did they find another Jewish school to go to?
Health, unfortunately you are not alone. I think there was a thread on it years back.
Health: in a previous post you wrote: Now what happens if they can’t find the child somewhere else or they don’t feel like looking for a place for him/her, can they now let the kid go to P.S. or do they have to accept the kid?
I have a child with a disability that is barely noticable and doesnt require much interruption (besides for being taken out of class for therapy once a day) or disturbances or special requests from anyone, not the teacher or principal. You would not believe the responses i got from many schools that are considered frum schools! And no, they did not even try to help me find a place! I went from school to school and b”h i found a good school. My mind didnt even turn to PS at that point cuz i went to see a whole bunch of schools within a few weeks. After getting one rejection after the other I was getting saddened and disheartened, not to mention hurt to the core. Who would’ve believed that a Jewish frum school would turn someone down for something like that! But yes, i do understand what you feel like. Cuz now i know what parents go through when they get turned down.
Much hatzlocha.
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