Vacation days for yeshiva children

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  • #608268
    Rsoz
    Member

    I noticed there’s been controversy lately about giving children

    Mid-winter vacation, Some yeshiva have discontinued it. I believe it is a. Mistake. I believe it is crucial, especially considering the times we’re living in, for kids to have off time to look forward to, to spend time with friends and family, and just have down time and fun. They work so hard all year, so many long hours if school (even for the youngest grades, especially boys who have Sunday school). And the boys who have longs hours on Sunday as well have even more of a challenge. Certain parents aren’t very concerned at all with the feelings of the children, or their need for vacation time during the year, because their only concern is: (for those who are working) “who’s going to watch my kids while I work?” (yeshiva is a babysitting service for them), and (for stay-at-home mothers, especially of homes that are blessed with several or ore children): “who needs them home getting in my hair, and fighting with thir siblings? Let them stay in school for as many hours and as many days as possible so I can get a break from them!”. I’ve seen other pArents also complain that their sons’ Sunday school hours are too short; “why should they only be in school until 12 or 1 on Sundays?! Then I will have to find something for them to do in the afternoon! Let them have longer hours on Sunday too!” I have actually heard all this said, and the last statement was made by a very wealthy mother, who certainly does not work, and has the means to take her kids out for pizza or some entertainment on a Sunday afternoon, yet she and her husband had a hand in having the hanhala of my children’s yeshiva extend the su day hours! I think it’s awful. People don’t appreciate their children enough these days. They need only look at all the childless couples out there who would give everything to have a child HOME with them for as many hours as possible! I believe it’s a sign of the times, the low generation we are living in, where many selfish parents care only about themselves and can’t be bothered spending much time with heir kids, they just want them out of the house as much as possible. And be4 anyone goes ranting about the needs of working parents to have the kids out of the house, I’m nit referring to them. If its financially necessary for both parents to work, that’s a different story. But I know plenty of women who are well to do, but say they WANT to work (while leaving their young children with nannies and babysitters, and screaming for longer hours in school for their school-age kids) JUST because they “need to get dressed up and get out, away from the kids”. The kids are the oly ones to suffer from this type of selfishness. Parents:wake up and be grateful you were blessed with children, and do the right thing by them! A psychologist told me that kids who spend their formative years with babysitters and nannies during the day, rather than their mothers, many times grow up and marry non-Jewish women, just like their non-Jewish nannies were!

    #953357
    eman
    Participant

    if the hanhalla of your child’s yeshivah is influenced by the parents, it’s time to find another school.

    #953358
    golfer
    Participant

    eman, in theory you are absolutely right.

    In real life (where most of us are sending our kids to Yeshiva) anyone trying to meet your standards will end up home schooling. Especially now that economic realities are not as rosy as they were a few years ago, the hanhalla is influenced by certain parents. And we all know who they are.

    The most we can hope for is that the hanhala will not blatantly favor certain families, and that they will not allow them to have a say in specific matters of chinuch or halacha (e.g. zmanim of tefillos, which masechta to cover, tznius standards).

    #953359
    MorahRach
    Member

    Why even have children them? Let’s just give birth and drop them off by our local yeshiva rebbes since they do such a better job of parenting than us.

    #953360
    chevron
    Member

    golfer: Which parental crowd is sometimes favored by the hanhala regarding matters such as zmanim, masechta and/or tznius?

    #953361
    Rsoz
    Member

    My s

    Children’s yeshiva is wonderful in all other areas, chinuch, level of yiddishkeit, rebbeim, etc. but the Rosh yeshiva did admit that he extended the Sunday hours because “the parents wanted it.” I asked, “which parents?” since I was never asked! And so I decided to call the arents of my sons’ classes to see where the majority stood on this issue, and sure enough, it was a small minority who were all for these longer hours, but when I called the mother who is known to be half of the wealthiest parents of the school, known to give major donations, and hosts of the yearly women’s Nshei parlor meeting, her reply was, “oh I’m thrilled about the longer Sunday hours. My boys don’t have anything to do at one on Sunday afternoons;let them stay in school longer!” I was disgusted and felt like asking, “did it ever occur to you to designate Sunday afternoons as a good family day to actually SPEND SOME TIME with your kids and take them out somewhere for fun?,” clueless and undressing of having children.

    #953362
    bp27
    Participant

    I thankfully send my kids to a school that didn’t discontinue mid-winter vacation – they never had it. 3 days off during the winter – Sunday of Chanukah, Purim and Shushan Purim.

    They also never extended sessions on Sunday – they always had a full day of Limudei Kodesh on Sunday.

    I am happy I don’t have your issues.

    #953363
    chevron
    Member

    bp27: +1

    #953364
    zahavasdad
    Participant

    Breaks and vacation are important for kids.

    Playing soccer outside is NOT Bittul torah, its a time to rest up, streech, get some exercise and fresh air.

    Its like a re-chargeable battery, sometimes the battery needs to be shut down and re-charged to work 100% again

    #953365
    agittayid
    Participant

    Gradually the noose is tightening.

    I guess it started with half days on Sunday.

    Now, its long school days, mandatory summer camp, and sleep away yeshiva in 9th grade. Winter vacation seems to next on the list.

    The agenda seems to be, the more time the children are away from the parents the better.

    #953366
    MorahRach
    Member

    Even thought my child is way too young for us to be looking into schools, we have been asking around because we already know that we don’t want him in a school that has Long Sundays. Why is it that so many parents have little interest in spending time with the children Hashem blessed them with? When I was younger I would sleep in on Sundays, my mother would make a big breakfast and we would all just spend time together. In the winter that could mean sledding, ice skating, going into the city. In the warmer months we would go to the park or have play dates with friends. I think that people expect kids to act like adults 24/7 and it’s very unhealthy.

    #953367
    zahavasdad
    Participant

    No more summer camp for most.

    The School year is being expanded longer and longer, many times into July now. It also starts earlier in August. So there is no time for camp anymore.

    Summer vacation is now about 4-6 weeks

    #953368
    old man
    Participant

    Dear Rsoz,

    I am sorry that you have had to learn the age-old maxim: Ba’al Hame’ah hu ba’al hade’ah. No one in my generation is surprised by this policy.

    #953369
    apushatayid
    Participant

    I heard of a girls high school that allows the girls to take “personal days”.

    #953370
    shoshanab
    Member

    Are you guys drinking a little too much on these chagim, erev chaggim and all american holidays off. These parents are working day and night to keep up with your inflated salaries so that they keep thier children in a jewish setting. In return they are called bad parents. When they go back to work the day after Pesach none of their employers say poor jewish lady and man you spent the last month preparing for Pesach you should have another day off to recover and put away your pesach dishes. Instead all the goyish employers look at you as a subpar employee. This does not happen to a menahel or morah.. . Shame on you You are obviously on assistance of some kindor on welfare and get tuition breaks for your childrenand dont know what chaos is when you need to pay full yeshiva tuition and all the other expenses of living.

    #953371
    shoshanab
    Member

    Am I the only on that feels that the days off for erev rosh hashana, rosh hashana, yom kippor, erev sukkot, chol hamoed sukkot simchat torah, hanuka, 2 days off forn erev pesach, pesach, shavot, sometimes even yom haatzmaot and 10 days off for long nonjewish holidays should be enough to recover.

    #953372
    shoshanab
    Member

    Again why are we paying so much for schoold when its barely open?

    #953373
    sharp
    Member

    One of the perks of being a teacher is getting off before the chagim.

    Teachers don’t get that many perks, so be happy for them.

    (No, I am not a teacher, btw)

    #953374
    Vogue
    Member

    Because you are paying money so that your children will actually be able to do school work- in public schools, and I have several baal teshuva friends who went through this, instead of other children working around the Jewish kid’s religious holidays, they would just go up to the teacher and accuse the kid of not putting in any effort and my friends would have to get all sorts of people involved every time and if they did not receive special ed services, they weren’t so successful in convincing the teacher they were doing everything they could. So in the end, the religious girls in public school did no group work, no science experiments, and yes, they passed their classes, but they were not prepared for college.

    Better you pay tuition for a school that has more days off, yet requires children to do a dual curriculum and where your child is actually able and required to do the school work and the teachers know their schedule, than to have a child in public school. Obviously their are other reasons to send children to day school, but this one is the biggest one.

    #953375
    147
    Participant

    Am I the only on that feels that the days off for erev rosh hashana, rosh hashana, yom kippor, erev sukkot, chol hamoed sukkot simchat torah, hanuka, 2 days off forn erev pesach, pesach, shavot, sometimes even yom haatzmaot and 10 days off for long nonjewish holidays should be enough to recover.

    I assume you shoshnab left out Yom Yersuholayim accidentally.

    Notwithstanding, it is highly time that yeshivos would acknowledge that being we are in the USA, secular holidays is when working parents have the time to spend with their children, and hence that the Yeshivos should be closed on all legal holidays. Period.

    #953376
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    hence that the Yeshivos should be closed on all legal holidays

    Well, not all.

    My kids’ schools are off on almost all legal holidays, but they still have school on Christmas. 🙂

    The Wolf

    #953377
    shoshanab
    Member

    Hi Vogue, Are you not aware that there is a summer vacation in which you have about 10 weeks off. As a parent I always have my children prepare for the next grade and supplement their school work. 10 weeks is a long time to not open up a book so if these children are unprepared that does not have to do with chaggim it is because at the beginning of the year they are unprepared. do not think the school system is going to prepare your children for life’s demands….

    #953378
    writersoul
    Participant

    I was always so annoyed when I was a kid when we’d get together with my cousins on chol hamoed and in the summer and it would be us kids and my mom (whenever she didn’t have work) with my cousins and their whole families. I was always like, I wish MY parents were teachers…

    However, as the proud niece and/or cousin of, at last count, 7 mechanchim/os, I’ll be the last one to say that they have the easy life. They work their HEADS off.

    I do think, though, that kids need time off. If they shaved off a week I don’t think it’ll be a crime (then again, I’m almost finished with my Jewish K-12 education, so whatever you do now can’t really hurt me anymore), but kids do need time to figure themselves out and live without the school framework for a bit. It might be less of a big deal at younger ages. And as much as I hate to say it, as the biggest camp-loather you will ever meet, there is something to having a camp experience.

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