March 13, 2017 7:04 am at 7:04 am #619467
On Erev Yom Kippur in Tefilas Zaka, we mention the fact that Hashem doesn’t forgive sins between man and his fellow-man if the sinner hasn’t obtained mechila from the person he sinned against.
We also state that we forgive everyone EXCEPT for people who think they can continuously hurt us without apologizing.
It is a very serious aveira to hurt someone’s feelings and not express any remorse, and the consequences are grave. Unfortunately, this happens in the Coffee Room a lot.
In real life when someone hurts me, I make sure to let them know that they have hurt me in order to give them an opportunity to apologize and save themselves from Gehinom. Most people are happy to have such an opportunity.
In the Coffee Room, I have tried to do this as well, but for some reason known only to themselves, the moderators often delete these posts. I find this very upsetting since some of these people might not be as bad as they seem sometimes and perhaps would have wanted to have the opportunity to apologize and spare themselves.
So, all posters should please be aware that sometimes you really hurt other people and they may have tried to let you know and you might not know this. You should try to think carefully if you may have hurt someone and try to apologize to them in a sincere fashion.March 13, 2017 12:14 pm at 12:14 pm #1228772
Well Said LU, here’s my takeMarch 13, 2017 8:31 pm at 8:31 pm #1228773
Thank you LU <3March 13, 2017 8:59 pm at 8:59 pm #1228774
here is my take. if an anonymous writer, who may or may not even be who they claim they are responds to a person who may or may not be serious and who may or may not be who they claim they are, hurts your feelings, then perhaps this is not a forum for you.March 13, 2017 11:27 pm at 11:27 pm #1228775
Goq- beautiful! + 1 googol!March 13, 2017 11:37 pm at 11:37 pm #1228776
apushatayid, that’s ridiculous. The halachos of onaas devarim apply online as well as anywhere else. I suspect the reason that they are ignored so often may be precisely because people have your attitude. They feel like since they are anonymous, this isn’t “real life” and they feel less accountability for their words.
A person has to weigh all of his words whether they are verbal, written, online, anonymous or not.March 14, 2017 11:46 pm at 11:46 pm #1228777
☢️ 🚭 ☣️ Rand0m3x 🧠🕴️🎲Participant
if an anonymous writer, who may or may not even be who they claim they are
responding to a person who may or may not be serious and who may or may not be who they claim they are
Translation – you, the reader (or maybe some
other poster, in which case, again, so what?).
Hurtful things are hurtful no matter who writes them.March 14, 2017 11:47 pm at 11:47 pm #1228778
Randomex – thank you!March 15, 2017 12:11 am at 12:11 am #1228779
Since I know my valuable opinion is always sought, it is of my opinion that someone who comes here with apparent “baggage” is asking for it. Furthermore it is they who are machshil others to write about them… Someone who constantly behaves in a fashion that rubs the majority in the wrong way cannot be blamed for having it pointed out…March 15, 2017 12:40 am at 12:40 am #1228781
LF it is of course anyone’s right to disagree with another poster but why does that disagreement have to devolve into personal ad hominem attacks with name calling, denigrating the others character, why can’t the differing party just offer their view without trying to destroy the others right to their own?March 15, 2017 12:41 am at 12:41 am #1228782
The Goq – + 1 googol! Thanks!March 15, 2017 12:47 am at 12:47 am #1228783
“Furthermore it is they who are machshil others to write about them”
Seriously? That must be the most classic and irrational rationalization I have ever seen. Would have expected better from a frog of your intelligence.March 15, 2017 1:09 am at 1:09 am #1228784
I don’t recall talking to anyone, about anyone, or anything in particular. I’m just generalizing as a rule. And I can’t understand why someone thinks I’m referring to him/her. I’ve not mentioned anyone at all. And I’m not talking about anyone in particular. I don’t go on name calling or attacks.. I’m not looking for arguments of any sort, I’m actually trying to avoid them. And no, I don’t know what people’s baggages are, I’m referring to what they come to the table with… Oh…March 15, 2017 1:33 am at 1:33 am #1228785
Whoops… I saw that before Mods decided to delete!
And I do ask mechilla now too even though I didn’t write ANYTHING about you.March 15, 2017 5:27 pm at 5:27 pm #1228788
One must be very naive and quite foolish to take to heart anything another person posts here be it advice, an admonition or a tongue lashing. Someone who claims to be a 37 year old married male, might just be a 14 year old female. A 30something female baal teshuva who posts a question, might just be a bored 17 year old kid with too much free time on his hands. This is my attitude when reading or writing anything on this, or any similar, forum. Please keep that in mind when reading anything I write.March 15, 2017 6:11 pm at 6:11 pm #1228789
Are there Mods in disguise?March 15, 2017 6:15 pm at 6:15 pm #1228790
apushatayid: Does doubting one’s honesty in the CR conflict with judging people favorably?
Isn’t it an assumption that someone is lying and manipulating in the CR?
Furthermore, even if one out of a certain amount of posters is simply playing, does that mean that every poster should be approached with caution and not taken seriously ever? Never deserving of respect?
Are you asking us to also stop taking your posts seriously too then? Maybe you’re just playing around too. Why hear you out?March 15, 2017 6:38 pm at 6:38 pm #1228791
never take anything here too seriously
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