We all enjoy the Yated, but does their Shidduch forum bring about more dates?

[Ofcourse]

Im very much a fan of the Yated and I and many others are in awe of their tireless zeal and efforts in being highly effective with different causes such as the Rubashkin tragedy, their defense of Metzitzah bPeh and Rabbi Fisher, to name two, but IMHO I feel their Shidduch forum is a sad waste of ink and paper.

Every week they ask a few well known Shadchanim’s (many of whom you can’t expect a call back from, whether they’re too overwhelmed or only interested or restricted to a specific clientele) opinion on a question, that to my knowledge hasnt yielded any changes whatsoever with the Shidduch dilemma we are in. This is somewhat of a disappointment. I wonder how this possibly helps bring about more dates. They have the ability to communicate to the masses, the clout and the power to do more, I think. Because of the admiration the Klal has for them, I think they could really bring about helpful and effective changes. For starters, possibly offering weekly a list of Shadchanim who can be reached. Would that be a bad idea?

[shrag1613]

It offers advice from a broad range from shadchonim. A question is posed, and the shadchonim answer based on their experiences in shidduchim. Yes, they’re probably all overwhelmed & may not be able to return calls. But, that’s not the point. They are just answering shidduch questions & offering shidduch advice.

[arc]

op is correct, in theory it was nice but its actually useless

[pumper]

I don’t think the shidduch forum was set up to guarantee more dates. Its just a forum to ask questions and get answers from those in the know. Similar to the Chinuch Roundtable which is not meant to solve all the problems with the school system nowadays, but to get answers from reputable mechanchim.

[Peanut Butter]

Of Course

Who said it’s point was to bring more dates? It’s like Chinuch roundtable. There is a question posed to them, as “experts” in their field, and you get to hear back from them advice what to do in certain situations.

And as far as them not being able to answer/return calls, this is a great way to be able to ask your question and get a response(unless you mean for them to set up someone, which I don’t believe that this is meant for)

[Ofcourse]

True, it’s good at answering Shidduch related questions, but surprisingly, never at all touching on how to get more girls married, the root of the crisis.

Thats like talking fire safety and prevention with a huge fire, and crumbling buildings, next door. Helpful, but of much lesser importance. Yated usually “gets it” and works on the big dilemma.

[Peanut Butter]

Pumper

Sorry, I didn’t see your reply when I posted.

[tzippi]

Ofcourse, do you have any suggestions or ideas? (By the way, you must mean something like see more marriages in the klal because every time a boy gets married, so does a girl.)

[klach]

but when a girl gets married it does not significantly alleviate the shidduch crisis

[AZ]

If its Close-In-Age it does, albeit not necessarily significantly, because no one marriage can solve it. If we consistently have more close in age weddings, we will continue to alleviate the crisis.

Of Course: Actually the Yated has been extremely helpful in promoting issues that deal with the core issues causing the crisis i.e. Age Gap.

To clarify, shadchanim being hard to reach/not returning phone calls etc. is NOT the cause of the crisis, it is simply a naural result of the core issues.

[popa_bar_abba]

“A newspaper exists to sell itself”

-Rita Skeeter

[Ofcourse]

I think if we’d constantly have available a clear and updated list of Shadchanim, in an easy to find place, we’d help at least to some extent. I dont see how anyone or the newspaper would lose by it.

[AZ]

Of course: Here’s a present-www.lchaimshidduch.org (if i’m not allowed to post a link) then go to the lchaim shidduch website and

go to the donate button. they have a extensive list of shadchanim that they give out for a $25 donation.

Good Luck

[pumper]

PB

no prob! great minds think alike and fools never differ 🙂

[mom of a few]

Most of the questions are really for Rabbanim and not the Shadchanim. I would like them to answer questions about what really goes on behind the scenes… Does more money bring more dates etc…

[Ofcourse]

AZ, Thanks but “Im in the business” and I have more lists and more access to other lists from all the singles I work with, than most. Why in this day and age does someone have to network or donate to get hold of a list? Because a newspaper cant afford 1/2 page, or so, a week, that would probably lead to higher sales of the paper?

Also, Ive heard that many people put themselves on these lists as Shadchanim, to find Shidduchim for their children and or siblings. At some point in the conversation, they decribe their child or sibling. When they hear the caller isnt a match for the person they’re looking for, they are no longer interested in speaking. This discourages the caller from further Hishtadlus, not encourages it. I think if a list is published in a newspaper, only the more well intentioned and serious Shadchanim would allow their names to be used that publicly.

Again, what would a paper lose by printing it regularly? If we’d bring about one more Shidduch a year by making a list more easily available, wouldnt it be totally worth it? Kal v’Chomer if we brought about ten or a hundred or more Shidduchim a year, as a result.

[mom of a few]

OF COURSE have you every asked the yated to put the list in? Perhaps it could be sponsored for a zchus or something similar>

[Ofcourse]

mom of a few, Im not sure how far my question to them got, but yes, I asked. I was thinking along the lines of a Zchus or LZecher Nishmas, too.

[Peanut Butter]

Pumper

Aha, so are we the fools, or great minds?;)

[an idea]

Shidduchim is a topic which occupies many peoples lives. The topics being discussed are of interest to them even if they are not always so informative.

[Author]

Posts