Why do I feel so guilty?

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  • #598138

    mommamia22
    Participant

    Every time I read/hear more about what happened to Leiby a’h I not only feel so desperately sad, but guilty. I don’t know why. Does anyone else feel the same way?

    #789318

    exactly the same. just actually told my Rebbetzin this. Basically, guilt is counterproductive, however if this does not prompt me to do teshuva and to improve my ways in accordance with the will of Hashem… then Leibi A’H suffered in vain… i can’t allow that

    #789319

    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    Were you on his path that day that you feel he might have passed you?

    #789320

    jmj613
    Participant

    I feel my aveiros did it but logically i guess were all to blame as klal. We should think what we can do evryone for himself. What do u think?

    #789321

    mommamia22
    Participant

    It’s illogical that I feel guilt. I was nowhere near that area and didn’t even know what was happening until later. But, just being here, in Brooklyn, thinking about how close I was relatively, somehow not only angers me towards the perpetrator, but a little bit towards myself. This has made me more aware of how I am spending my time, and I have come to value davening and tehillim much more. I hope all the love and caring that we all are feeling towards this little boy’s neshama is brought up to him and gives him tremendous comfort and menuchas hanefesh. If we could not give that to him before, maybe it would be given to him now…..

    #789322

    bpt
    Participant

    “if this does not prompt me to do teshuva and to improve my ways “

    Nice thought, but what we really need to change, is the way we take care of our kids.

    I know I’ve said this over and over, and I plan to keep on repeating it.

    Its appalling the way I see kids being left for hefker or asked to do mommy’s job in minding the younger sibs.

    Do we need to heed this as a wake-up call?

    WE SURE DO!

    #789323

    mommamia22
    Participant

    Ailu v’ailu…. Both philosophies are right. We need to make an effort religiously as well as practically. Being smart is making our own effort/hishtadlus and then davening and relying on Hash-em.

    #789324

    jmj613
    Participant

    this whole issue of how to take care of our kids is very complicated. I dont live in bp and not even usa but well i was used to sending my kids alone to cheider(age 10,9) but maybe thats wrong. Maybe we(me)need to change the way we let our kids go on the streets(anywhere in the world big cities might me dangerous). I am not sure myself how if and what is to do about it. we always have to do tshuve and maybe thats the wakeup call for this too. the truth is i cant make sense of it all. Taking care of our kids is surely what needs to be done…

    #789325

    adorable
    Participant

    bpt- is that all you learned from the story? if you are looking for an excuse why this happened you will find one. but like rabbi wallerstein said- if it would have been a goy who killed him everyone would have said “anti semitism” and then dont need to do teshuva because its nothing i did wrong. so a jew did it- so you have nothing to say besides THIS IS A DECREE FROM HASHEM!!!

    #789326

    minyan gal
    Member

    I also feel more sad each time that I read about Leiby. I just received the weekly email from my local Chabad and they had a link to the message released by the Kletzkys when they got up from Shivah. How they summoned the inner strength to do this is far beyond me. There were close to 75 comments posted about their message – a good number of them were beautiful messages from Gentiles. One Catholic church has a link to the Kletzkys fundraising on their church’s Facebook page. It makes me realize that there are some wonderful people in this world. However, I think that the press is releasing far too many gory details about the crime (yasher koach to the yeshiva world for not doing this) that can only intensify our feelings of grief. Most of us had never heard of these people prior to this horrific incident, yet we grieve as if he were one of our own. So, even though we all have heavy hearts as we welcome Shabbat, we can draw some measure of pleasure as we realize how this incident has brought together Yidden of all backgrounds. Leiby will live on in the hearts of all of us – he will never be forgotten.

    #789327

    bpt
    Participant

    “is that all you learned from the story?”

    Of course not. Teshuvah is a given, wether its something as “minor” as getting into a fender-bender, or something as shocking as this. Needless to say, the severity of the “potch” is meant to alert us as to the extent we need to get our act together.

    But in the nuts and bolts end of things, the same way a fender-bender is a wake up call to drive more carefully in bad weather or be fully rested before getting behind the wheel, when something bad happens to a child, we (as parents and as society) need to take a closer look at how we are managing our children.

    I can tell you first hand, molestation has dramaticaly dropped in certain circles. Why? Because parents took the warnings seriously, schools / campls enacted safety measures to make sure that kids are not left vunerable. Has it been totally eradicated? Sad to say, no. Are certain kids more vunerable than others?

    Sad to say, yes.

    Its our job to make sure our kids are not vunerable.

    #789328

    adorable
    Participant

    agree with you on that one but I think the main point should not be the safety but more the teshuva part

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