October 28, 2009 4:44 pm at 4:44 pm #665230
Good job NY Mom!!October 28, 2009 5:50 pm at 5:50 pm #665231
Thanks for the support, SJS 🙂October 28, 2009 6:05 pm at 6:05 pm #665232
3 cheers for ny mom!October 28, 2009 6:14 pm at 6:14 pm #665233
in many heimishe stores in boro park there are signs hanging in the dressing room (from bnos melachim i believe) very nicely reminding the buyer to check if the item they are trying on is truly tzniusdig. i recall one sign reminding you to sit down to make sure the skirt covers your knees at all times.October 28, 2009 7:43 pm at 7:43 pm #665234
question: Thank you and welcome to the CR! Enjoy!
Yes, I have seen those signs too. If I recall, they also remind you to have in mind that you are fulfilling the mitzvah of tznius when you are buying a tzniusdike garment.October 28, 2009 8:00 pm at 8:00 pm #665235
NY Mom, That is seriously awesome, You are an inspiration.October 28, 2009 8:39 pm at 8:39 pm #665236
If this is the place to get support for trying to be tzniut, I have something to share. I know my size and I usually just buy clothes without trying them on, but today I actually tried on a dress to see if it will reach my knees. It was so pretty. Yet short. 🙁 And I didn’t buy it. I don’t plan on getting it. But it was so pretty. 🙁 I’ve bought short dresses in the past and added material to the bottom, but this wouldn’t work with the style of the dress. I really liked it. 🙁October 28, 2009 8:56 pm at 8:56 pm #665237
good for you jewess!!October 28, 2009 9:23 pm at 9:23 pm #665238
Jewess: I know that was a real nisayon and I have so much respect for you. To quote someone we know, “seriously awesome”.
Yoshi, Thanks so much! 😉October 28, 2009 9:32 pm at 9:32 pm #665239
Jewess, keep up the good work!October 28, 2009 9:42 pm at 9:42 pm #665240
Thanks. You guys are so sweet. I’m far from a saint, but I’m trying to wear clothes as close to my knees as possible. 😉October 28, 2009 10:11 pm at 10:11 pm #665241
Jewess: May it be a zechus for you.October 29, 2009 2:40 pm at 2:40 pm #665242
Come on, ladies! Anyone else want to share their difficulties or struggles?
You may really help others who are just reading (you lurkers know who you are!) by describing your problems and issues.
BTW, mepal, you really made me think when you wrote about your frustrations when shopping for clothes. I am sure there are so many others that share those same feelings. I know that I do! If anyone does speak up to the shop owners about this, please let us know how that went, and what the reaction was to your comments.October 29, 2009 2:57 pm at 2:57 pm #665243
jewess, the next step is to get rid of the 🙁 and make a 🙂 because nobody is forcing you to leave the dress on the rack, YOU made the choice, and imo you made a wise choice. You go girl!
so you really deserve to 🙂 Be happy with your choice!October 29, 2009 3:23 pm at 3:23 pm #665244
what do you ladies feel about slinky skirts. any problems with those?October 29, 2009 3:38 pm at 3:38 pm #665245
“Come on, ladies! Anyone else want to share their difficulties or struggles?”
Hi NY Mom,
I don’t feel comfortable discussing these personal issues in a forum that is almost certainly read by men, so please don’t feel I (or others, if this applies to them) don’t support such an important topic and your (and others’) powerful contributions. I’m cheering all of you on in the background!October 29, 2009 3:41 pm at 3:41 pm #665246
ya know what question, I happen to be wearing a slinky skirt right now – and asked myself the same question this morning.
It is safe to assume that the answer at least for me is yes. Is this skirt tziusdik? I think so – Do I look professional to go to the office? I think so –
My skirt while slinky is not so form fitting and clingy, and yet not so loose to look sloppy.
Before I worry so much about the clothes I wear I had to get more comfortable in my own skin, ya know? I also don’t care anymore about what the other women in the community are wearing.October 29, 2009 3:46 pm at 3:46 pm #665247
i personally find 2 problems with slinky skirts. i do have a friend that has a slinky type skirt, however, it is made from a thicker material ( though still light weight) and therefore doesnt hang the same way or stretch out so fast.
EDITEDOctober 29, 2009 3:53 pm at 3:53 pm #665248
question: If you are talking about the long straight stretchy skirts (often black), it really depends on how it fits you. As any other article of clothing, if it’s too tight, of course there is an issue. If it’s looser-fitting, I have no problem with them.October 29, 2009 4:04 pm at 4:04 pm #665250
Hi Bemused! Thank you for your post!
I do know there are others out there who, while they may not contribute themselves, appreciate and gain from this thread. I was getting a little lonely, though, and I don’t want to be the only one writing, because then it may seem that this is a one-woman deal.
So thanks again for speaking up!October 29, 2009 4:06 pm at 4:06 pm #665251
Mod 80: I really would like if this thread could remain open. Have we written anything improper here?October 29, 2009 4:10 pm at 4:10 pm #665252
Nothing intrinsically improper, but what is proper for a group of women, is not necessarily proper when a group of men are onlookers.
I don’t even want to write this, but do you really want men reading about how clingy skirts are clinging more in this area than that? I really don’t think so.October 29, 2009 4:13 pm at 4:13 pm #665253
As a male, and one who is forced to read the posts here in order to keep things proper, I am beginning to feel quite uncomfortable about a discussion that should be open to women readers only.
I am going to close this thread, unless there are serious objections to this by a number of female posters. If it does stay open, I will no longer moderate it but will leave it to the other moderators.
I really do think it should be closed though, useful as it is. The other males here should not be reading this.October 29, 2009 4:13 pm at 4:13 pm #665254
Looking back, I can see what you may have been talking about, Mod 80. Maybe some of us are being a little too specific in our terminology. I am trying very hard to use discreet language when describing things in this sensitive area.
Ladies: Maybe we can all make an effort to be a little more circumspect in our language? Would that help?October 29, 2009 4:15 pm at 4:15 pm #665255
That would help
Still I would like to hear what others think.October 29, 2009 4:16 pm at 4:16 pm #665256
Mod80, I would leave it open. This thread already inspired some better tznius. Arent there any female mods? If not, time to hire one! Also maybe change the title to read women only?October 29, 2009 4:19 pm at 4:19 pm #665257
Very glad to hear it!
There are female mods but that would not solve the problem of the thousands of males who frequent these forums (only a very few actually post)October 29, 2009 4:25 pm at 4:25 pm #665258
Hmm…with a warning lik women only, that would keep the men who care out. Really, do they care about material types?
Is that interesting to them?
You have to understand the nature Hashem put into men.October 29, 2009 4:27 pm at 4:27 pm #665259
If better tznius is being inspired, we’ll keep it open. The moderators will have to become more careful.
And NY Mom (or anyone else) please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you catch something we missed.October 29, 2009 4:27 pm at 4:27 pm #665260
Mod, I get it.
It’s part of why I have little to no interest in threads such as the CR parties, etc. If I need that kind of camaraderie, input, etc. I get it from women only forums.October 29, 2009 4:32 pm at 4:32 pm #665261
Thank you, Mod 80.
I really am grateful.
And to quote a familiar phrase, “If I see something, I’ll say something!” – er, I mean, let you know via email.October 29, 2009 5:09 pm at 5:09 pm #665262
Does anyone have opinions on open necks? I think it seems to be a big problem.October 29, 2009 6:39 pm at 6:39 pm #665264
Collar bone (and everything below) should be covered.
EDITEDOctober 29, 2009 6:59 pm at 6:59 pm #665265
I’m with Tzippi.
Mod80, I do see things that are not appropriate for open viewing, but do not feel comfortable emailing it to you. I know my husband would be horrified to know I am discussing these things on an open forum. Is there a female mod who can serve as a contact?October 29, 2009 7:05 pm at 7:05 pm #665266
Esther: Thank you so much for bringing this up! I agree that not everyone seems to be so aware of the fact that some tops are a little too open at the collar.
There is a handy little invention for just such a situation. It’s called a safety pin. I sometimes make use of it and it works very well! 😉
Or sewing a stitch on either side of the collar is also a very useful trick.
Or another possibility is a shell. IMO, that is a good use for a shell.October 29, 2009 7:16 pm at 7:16 pm #665267
Okay. Let me rephrase that. Is the problem open collars that show the collar bone, or do you object to any buttons unbuttoned?October 29, 2009 7:46 pm at 7:46 pm #665268
anon for thisParticipant
NY Mom, one can also buy a dickie (blouse or turtleneck collar) to wear under tops like those.October 29, 2009 8:07 pm at 8:07 pm #665269
anon: Yes, that is true. I haven’t seen a dickey (just looked up the spelling) in a loooong time. Do they still sell them?
Another option is buying sew-on snaps. This more applicable to button-down blouses in which the buttons are spaced too far apart or needs a little more closure at the top. You can get them in any store that sells sewing products or even at local we-sell-it-all pharmacies (like CVS or Duane Reade). It’s just a little tricky sewing it on if you’ve never done it before. The first couple of times I did it, I had to re-do for different reasons. If anyone wants any tips regarding this, I can elaborate.October 29, 2009 8:21 pm at 8:21 pm #665270October 29, 2009 8:34 pm at 8:34 pm #665271
You are right chops, However, keeping the top button open of a blouse may look with it but one is oiver a lavOctober 29, 2009 8:41 pm at 8:41 pm #665272October 29, 2009 8:48 pm at 8:48 pm #665273
by the way a great idea for open necks is a bobby pin! you make a seam at each side and stick in a bobbby pin to hold it, I’m not sure how clear that is but if you get what i mean it’s much neater than a safety pin and it’s not a problem with getting the shirt on and offOctober 29, 2009 8:55 pm at 8:55 pm #665274
NY Mom, I never thought of having snaps added between buttons. I usually just wear a cami under blouses that don’t stay closed.
Estherh which “lav” are you “oiver” when keeping the top button of a blouse open. Am I “oiver” on two if I keep two buttons open?October 29, 2009 9:31 pm at 9:31 pm #665275
If the top button is high enough, then leaving it open isn’t a problem.October 29, 2009 9:46 pm at 9:46 pm #665276
Estherh: That is a new one for me.
Why should it be a problem if the top button is open, as long as your collarbone is covered? I can understand if the 2nd button is not high enough and it makes the blouse too open, but if everything is covered properly, are you still saying there is an issue? For me it is sometimes uncomfortable to keep the top button closed, so that is when I get out the good old safety pin.October 29, 2009 10:15 pm at 10:15 pm #665277
I think it EVERY women should wear a shell/under shirt under ANY shirt. Whether it be a blouse, t-shirt, ect. To me it seems like common sense but to others it apparently isn’tOctober 29, 2009 11:59 pm at 11:59 pm #665278
shaatra, why? Even a turtleneck?October 30, 2009 1:43 am at 1:43 am #665279
Before I went to seminary, I sewed snaps on almost all my shirts. It made things so much easier – I still wore a shell, but I didn’t have to worry about my collar bones.
Since safety pins are annoying, my new “shtick” now is a necklace – (only works for a collared shirt) underneath the collar – closes off the top of the shirt and doesn’t look bad!! Of course you have to make sure the chain is short enough that it’s actually encircling your neck, but I think (of course, I’m biased….) it’s a very good alternative.October 30, 2009 1:46 am at 1:46 am #665281
Nobody answered me about the Lav. does anyone know what a Lav is? by the way Shaatra, how shaatra are you? do you wear double shirts while you are making kibbe?October 30, 2009 2:00 am at 2:00 am #665282
SJS: I didn’t mean it for color bone reasons! I think ppl should wear under shirts so no one has to see your ‘undergarment’ and how big ur stomach is, and what ur belly button looks like! NOT for tzniut reasons, I am talking about goyim as well! Next time u wear ur turtle neck, put a shirt under, you’ll see how nicer you look.
Chops: I seriously have no idea what u mean. Please explain your self
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